News - The Takeout

Cheers To The Takeout's Kate Bernot, America's Newest Certified Cider Professional

By Kevin Pang July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Taco Bell Is America's Best Stoner Restaurant, High Times declares

By Kate Bernot July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Seattle Becomes Largest U.S. City To Ban Plastic Straws And Utensils

By Kevin Pang July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Vancouver Restaurant Manager Fired For Refusing To Serve Man Wearing MAGA Hat

By Gwen Ihnat July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Aww Dammit, Costco Food Court's New Al Pastor Salad Is Made Of Soy

By Kate Bernot July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Dildo Brewing Company Opens For Business

By Kate Bernot July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Jimmy John's Driver Busts Cheating Boyfriend

By Gwen Ihnat July 2nd, 2018 Read More
Breweries Roll Out Cannabis-Infused Beverages That Actually Get You High

By Kate Bernot June 30th, 2018 Read More
Woman Sues Buffet For $1 Million after Developing "Fried Rice Syndrome"

By Gwen Ihnat June 30th, 2018 Read More
Starbursts Selling Bags Of All-Pink Candy, The Only Flavor That Matters

By Kevin Pang June 29th, 2018 Read More
People Keep Targeting The Wrong Red Hen Restaurant

By Gwen Ihnat June 29th, 2018 Read More
Rihanna's Glass-Stealing Method Seems To Work Work Work Work Work

By Allison Shoemaker June 29th, 2018 Read More
World's Only Combo Applebee's-IHOP Misses Its Chance At A Perfect Name Mash-Up

By Kate Bernot June 29th, 2018 Read More
Pretty Legit Amazon Prime Discounts Rolled Out At All Whole Foods Stores This Week

By Allison Shoemaker June 29th, 2018 Read More
Man Allegedly Killed 21 Coworkers By Poisoning Their Lunches Over Two Decades

By Allison Shoemaker June 29th, 2018 Read More
Space-Safe Champagne Exists, So We Can Colonize Mars Now

By Allison Shoemaker June 29th, 2018 Read More
Restaurants Are Using Facial-Recognition Software To Remember How You Like Your Burger

By Kate Bernot June 29th, 2018 Read More
Hey, Some Happy News: Hero Chick-Fil-A Employee Saves Choking Customer's Life

By Gwen Ihnat June 29th, 2018 Read More
Blue Apron Is Releasing A Smart, Strong, sensual Bob's Burgers meal Kit

By Allison Shoemaker June 29th, 2018 Read More
Why Are People Eating Avocado Pits?

By Kate Bernot June 29th, 2018 Read More
Couple Spends 50th Wedding Anniversary In A Row At Burger King

By Kevin Pang June 28th, 2018 Read More
Marie Callender's And Hungry-Man To Say "I Do" In Frozen-Food Matrimony

By Gwen Ihnat June 28th, 2018 Read More
Hi Netflix, Please Make This Feud Betwixt Weed Farm And Vineyard Your Next Hit Docuseries

By Allison Shoemaker June 28th, 2018 Read More
Horny, Hungry Bears Are Wandering Into Residential Neighborhoods

By Gwen Ihnat June 28th, 2018 Read More
New Jello-O "toys" Encourage Kids To Make Dining Rooms Stickier, Grosser

By Kate Bernot June 28th, 2018 Read More
Total Dick Tattles On Fellow Train Rider Eating Burrito

By Kevin Pang June 28th, 2018 Read More
Starbucks Announces Unprecedented, Comprehensive health Benefits For Trans Employees

By Kate Bernot June 28th, 2018 Read More