News - The Takeout

Last Call: I Wish To Join The Taco Bell Drawing Club

By Kate Bernot September 26th, 2018 Read More
Olive Garden Organizes Ingredients Into A Completely Different Order, Calls It Lasagna Dip

By Gwen Ihnat September 26th, 2018 Read More
Taco Bell Breakfast Thrives Even Though No One Gives A Shit About Its Coffee

By Allison Shoemaker September 26th, 2018 Read More
Papa John's May Ditch Apostrophe From Name, Because We are all Papas John

By Allison Shoemaker September 26th, 2018 Read More
Walmart Files Patent For Shopping Carts That Measure Your Stress Level

By Kate Bernot September 26th, 2018 Read More
Chocolate Cottage In France Gives New Meaning To "home Sweet Home"

By Gwen Ihnat September 26th, 2018 Read More
Are New Jersey's New Brewery Regulations Too Restrictive?

By Kate Bernot September 26th, 2018 Read More
Frustrated By Plastic-Bag Ban, New Zealand Shoppers Resort To Stealing Grocery Baskets

By Kate Bernot September 26th, 2018 Read More
Madonna. Pele. Bono. Dunkin'.

By Kevin Pang September 26th, 2018 Read More
This Month In Overturned Trucks: Beef Roasts, Cheese, Dog Food

By Kate Bernot September 25th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Don't Be The Dope Who Misses The Harvest Moon

By Gwen Ihnat September 25th, 2018 Read More
Instant Pot, The Internet's Favorite Kitchen Appliance, Adds A Blender

By Gwen Ihnat September 25th, 2018 Read More
Wait, You Can Order A McAffogato?

By Allison Shoemaker September 25th, 2018 Read More
Father Negotiates Compromise With Subway Store On Anti-Hoodie Dress Code

By Kate Bernot September 25th, 2018 Read More
Necco Wafers And Sweetheart Candies saved From Dusty Extinction

By Gwen Ihnat September 25th, 2018 Read More
Woman Hides Life Savings In Freezer, Returns Freezer To Store Without Removing It

By Kate Bernot September 25th, 2018 Read More
Woman Issues Dire Warning About Needle In McDonald's Fries, Is Coincidentally Missing A Needle

By Allison Shoemaker September 25th, 2018 Read More
Two Strangers Walk Into A Bar, One Offers Her Kidney

By Gwen Ihnat September 25th, 2018 Read More
Costco Sells So Much Rotisserie Chicken It's Opening A Chicken Plant To Keep Up

By Kevin Pang September 25th, 2018 Read More
Chick-Fil-A Awards Free Food For Life To 100-Year-Old Man

By Kate Bernot September 25th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: University President Apologies For Chugging From Beer Bong

By Kate Bernot September 24th, 2018 Read More
Why Is Anyone Still On Weight Watchers?

By Gwen Ihnat September 24th, 2018 Read More
Teens Tag North Carolina Stores' "alcopop" With Red Warning Stickers

By Kate Bernot September 24th, 2018 Read More
Ex-OpenTable Employee Charged With Felony For Booking Hundreds Of False Reservations

By Gwen Ihnat September 24th, 2018 Read More
Watching Crazy Rich Asians with My Mouth Open The Whole Time

By Kevin Pang September 24th, 2018 Read More
Health Inspectors Investigate Maine Restaurant That Gets Lobsters High Before Cooking Them [UPDATED]

By Kate Bernot September 24th, 2018 Read More
Publix Finally Allows Store Employees To Grow Beards

By Kate Bernot September 24th, 2018 Read More