Costco's Food Court Menu Items, Ranked

If somebody asks me to describe my happy place, I shut my eyes and imagine myself at Costco, one hand on my double-wide grocery cart, the other ferrying a hot dog (that I just bought for a deliciously predictable $1.50) to my hungry mouth. The beauty of the Costco food court isn't just the unchanging bold red décor or the industrial warehouse ceiling hanging thirty feet above your head. It's also the theater of it all. There's something about folding a piece of pizza over a shiny lacquered table while shoppers walk by lugging entire pallets of LaCroix and enough cereal to feed a small nation that's unique to the Costco experience. 

And, of course, it's the food. The menu is small but iconic, and every item on it has lovers and haters. You don't go in expecting Michelin stars, but you might leave wondering how something this cheap can be this good. And if it isn't good, at least it's cheap. That's the Costco promise. With that in mind, I ate the entire menu in one sitting (pray for me), and came up with a definitive ranking of Costco's food court items, from hard pass to absolute legend.

I'll admit, I'm not the kind of guy who would typically order a mocha freeze, but I indulge in the occasional sweetened, frozen coffee beverage and I know the signs of a quality iced mocha. It doesn't seem so hard to make one, but the trick is that you can't skimp on the quality of the coffee, which Costco very much does. Instead of investing in good coffee, this mocha tries to cover up the taste of stale, vaguely burnt beans with excessive sugar and a dainty pump of chocolate syrup around the edge of the plastic cup.

The drink was so sweet it almost made my teeth hurt. And it didn't feel rich and indulgent, but just flat and sugary, like a gas station ice coffee got shaken with sugar, ice, and a meager streak of chocolate. While we all know that you don't eat at Costco expecting a healthy meal full of fiber and fresh vegetables, this Costco food court item is wildly unhealthy, packing in a whopping 46 grams of sugar. And unlike many of the other items on the list, it doesn't justify itself with delicious flavor or a hit of nostalgia.

The hot turkey and provolone sandwich at the Costco food court sounds better than it tastes. How hard can it be? Toasted bread, melted cheese, sliced turkey, a tomato, and a swipe of pesto should be a surefire ingredients list for a decent sandwich. But in practice, it just doesn't come together. The turkey is bland and unremarkable, tasting more like filler than the savory, lean taste I expect from this sandwich's titular meat. The tomato inside is watery, and instead of brightening things up, it just seeps into the bread and makes the bite soggy.

The cheese does its best work around the edges, where it crisps up into crunchy bits that almost feel like an accidental bonus. Inside the sandwich, though, it disappears into the mix. The pesto, which should be the flavor anchor, and had a decently bright, herby flavor when I was able to isolate it, barely registers among the other ingredients. Sometimes you catch a faint note of basil, but there isn't enough to make a real difference. I could see the onion and was expecting it to add a much needed sharpness to this impossibly dull sandwich, but it never registered on my palate. What you're left with is a disappointingly average sandwich.

I ordered the Latte Freeze from Costco wanting something between a milkshake and an iced coffee. I knew it was going to be sweet, so I craved a rich, luscious milkiness with a sharp undertone of roasted coffee flavor. That is not what I got.

The coffee flavor is weak, and where it does come through, it tastes stale and a little burnt, like beans that have been sitting out too long. Instead of offering a bold, refreshing jolt, it leans heavily on icy milk and a very heavy helping of sugar to carry the drink. The result is something that tastes more like milky, vaguely coffee-flavored shave ice than an actual latte.

Compared to the mocha freeze, it's slightly more palatable because it doesn't have the extra syrup streaked around the cup. That makes it a little less cloying, but only by a small margin. It's still overly sweet, without much depth of flavor to balance it out. The texture is smooth and icy, and if the food court weren't so effectively air conditioned, that might feel refreshing, but it doesn't make up for the lack of character.

The chicken bake is one of those Costco food court items that has a loyal following, so if you're a chicken bake lover, don't take this personally. I'd somehow never had a chicken bake before and I had high hopes, but when I actually sat down with it, the flaws were hard to ignore. The outer bread is golden, with a coating of baked-on cheese that gives it an appealing crunch and some savory depth. That first taste tricks you into thinking you're in for something great, but as you get further in, the problems start to show.

The filling is extremely heavy and the chicken pieces don't have much flavor on their own. Not to mention they're swimming in a mixture that feels overwhelmingly fatty. There isn't any acidity or brightness to cut through the rich filling, so every bite builds on the last until it feels like too much. The pastry itself is dense and a little stodgy, lacking the lightness that could have helped balance things out. The overall effect is filling but monotonous, and it left me more weighed down than satisfied.

This ice cream sundae takes Costco's already dependable vanilla soft serve and tries to dress it up with chocolate syrup, but the result doesn't quite land. To be fair, the soft serve is creamy, smooth, and balanced in sweetness. It's the same base you'd get in the twist cone, and on its own, it more than holds up. The problem is the syrup which, instead of adding a rich, chocolatey counterpoint, feels like an afterthought. It's thin, overly sweet, and doesn't bring the depth you'd expect from a good sundae topping.

Visually, the syrup streaks along the inside of the cup in uneven swirls, which look fine at first but quickly turn messy as it melts into the ice cream. You'd be better off with a simple twist cone, which is cheaper and more satisfying. The sundae isn't bad, but I ranked it so low because it's annoying to pay extra for an add-on that actually makes something worse. It's one of the few food court items where the upgrade isn't worth it.

Green is not the most common color at the Costco food court. Most of the foods pictured on the menu are heavy with bread, meat, and cheese, so the chicken Caesar salad was a refreshing crunch in a sea of calorie-dense foods. And while I appreciate that there's a healthier option, it doesn't live up to the standard set by the rest of Costco's lineup. The romaine lettuce is perhaps the strongest part, with a fresh, crisp texture that provides the crunch you expect from a Caesar. The parmesan also helps, adding a salty, umami note that makes each bite a little more flavorful. Unfortunately, this is where the praise runs out.

The chicken is the biggest drawback. It's pale and flavorless, with a texture that leans more toward canned than freshly grilled. Instead of being juicy or smoky, it feels flat and unseasoned. The dressing, which should be the star of a Caesar, also disappoints. It's thick to the point of being gluey, and the flavor is muted, lacking the depth of anchovy and Parmesan flavor that should be swimming in Caesar dressing. The packet it comes in provides far more than you'd ever need, so it's easy to accidentally overdress the salad and end up with a sopping mess of a dish. The salad is edible, and it fills the role of a token green option on the menu, but it lacks the flavors that make a Caesar satisfying.

Playing the role of indulgent dessert on the Costco food court menu is this massive chocolate chip cookie. It should come as no surprise that the sheer size of this sweet treat is eye popping. It's at least an inch thick and packed with melty chocolate chunks spread generously throughout. In the age-old debate between people who like crunchier and chewier chocolate chip cookies, this confection seems able to please all parties, with an exterior that delivers a satisfying crunch and reveals a soft, rich, gooey inside.

Because it's so dense, the sweetness builds quickly. As somebody who doesn't handle a sugar rush well, there was no way I was going to finish this one on my own. It's the kind of cookie you want to share with someone else, not because you don't like it, but because finishing it solo is a real challenge. Even cookie lovers may find themselves tapping out halfway through.

Still, it's an impressive option, and it delivers on the Costco promise of being a big, decadent, and fairly priced. It's an item that reminded me, once again, the number one rule at the Costco food court: Come hungry.

This new Italian food court item was just spotted at Costco for the first time a few months ago. The calzone is the new kid on the block, and it's got something to prove. The exterior is appealing right away, with a golden crust and a layer of baked-on cheese that adds a bold crunch and that slightly burnt umami flavor of crunchy cheese. And the party keeps going inside with a hot, messy mixture of sausage, pepperoni, olives, mushrooms, and plenty of cheese. The sausage brings smoky, savory notes, while the pepperoni adds a sharp, salty kick, and the black olive gives the filling just enough acidity to keep it from feeling one-dimensional. The mushrooms, on the other hand, sometimes get lost among the stronger flavors.

The cheese is creamy and plentiful, tying the ingredients together, though it does lean toward the processed side. It wasn't the stretchy mozzarella I'd hoped for, but it still gave the calzone a rich, indulgent texture.

It's hearty, it's filling, and it's very Costco. The very size of this calzone is intimidating, like a calzone made for Fred Flintstone. But its scale fits with all of Costco's other massive offerings, so I could hardly pretend to be surprised.

The twist ice cream is one of the simplest items at the Costco food court, but with its simplicity comes consistent enjoyability. I've been eating Costco soft serve ice cream since I was a sugar obsessed eight-year-old, and I'm pleased to report it tastes exactly the same as it did in third grade. I (obviously) opted for the twist to get the best of both worlds, and each flavor was a humble, unfussy example of quality soft serve ice cream.

The vanilla side has a clean, classic flavor that actually tastes like soft, cloudy vanilla instead of just sugar. It's creamy and smooth, but not too heavy or overwhelming. It's still very much a sugar-heavy dessert, but it doesn't feel excessively cloying the way some fast food soft serves can. The chocolate side is subtle, with just a hint of cocoa flavor, but it blends well with the vanilla, making this twist a balanced combination that's the best dessert on the Costco menu. Its beauty is that it's not trying to compete with gourmet ice cream shops. It's just a simple soft serve done right.

The key to Costco's cheese pizza is managing expectations. You're not in Italy or at a Downtown Manhattan pizza joint. You're at Costco. Now that we have that out of the way, I can move forward with a glowing review of this hefty cheese slice.

It's a classic American food court slice, with the crust on the thicker side and a chewy, doughy texture that makes it filling even before you get to the toppings. The slice is absurdly, delightfully large for somebody who is used to artisanal thin crust pies, and it's refreshing to get a slice that's an entire meal unto itself. It's soft and gooey and it folds neatly in half for easy eating.

The cheese on Costco pizzas is generous, spread across the entire slice in a gooey, melty layer. It has a mild, satisfying flavor, with the gently nutty mozzarella base giving way to a bit of umami crunch and the gently browned upper layer. The tomato sauce underneath is better than you might expect, and avoids the overly sweet sauce that plagues so many budget slices. It's slightly tangy, providing balance to the richness of the cheese. The ratio leans a little doughy, closer to focaccia than flatbread, but it's still a solid slice for those with a forgiving definition of pizza.

The pepperoni slice takes Costco's base cheese pizza and punches it up with the addition of a generous helping of pepperoni. The slice is big, the crust thick and chewy, and the cheese layered on generously, just like the plain version. The main difference, of course, is the topping and as we know, Costco doesn't skimp. The pepperoni cups up at the edges as it bakes, leaving those familiar little pools of oil that fans of classic American pizza love. They add crunch and saltiness, giving the slice more personality than the cheese alone.

The tomato sauce is balanced and not overly sweet, which helps keep the slice from feeling too heavy despite the extra topping. The combination of cheese, sauce, and pepperoni works well, and every bite has enough flavor to make you want another. The texture of the crust still leans doughy, but it holds up under the weight of the toppings without getting soggy.

This isn't an authentic Napolitano pizza or anything — but then again, pepperoni, the most popular pizza topping, doesn't come from Italy anyway. If you're a carnivore going to Costco with a hankering for pizza, as you should, the pepperoni slice edges out the cheese for being more satisfying overall.

The Costco hot dog is the crown jewel in the food court menu, and for good reason. It's been on the menu for decades, and despite rising food prices everywhere else, it has stubbornly remained $1.50, including a soda. That consistency alone makes it legendary, but the hot dog itself more than holds up.

The sausage is substantial, with a satisfying snap when you bite into it. The flavor is smoky, meaty, and salty, a frank that would please the most selective of hot dog aficionados. It's a little fattier than your average ballpark dog, which gives it a richness that works especially well when paired with the lighter, slightly buttery bun. The bun-to-meat ratio is nearly perfect, making it sturdy enough to hold the hot dog without falling apart, but not so thick that it overwhelms the sausage.

Condiments are, of course, dealer's choice, with offerings of ketchup, mustard, relish, all of perfectly acceptable quality. The hot dog doesn't strictly need to be dressed up because the flavor stands on its own, but I recommend a thick, red line of ketchup and a dainty squirt of mustard. It's no wonder Costco sells more hot dogs than all the stadiums in Major League baseball. It's everything you want from a hot dog.

To fairly rank Costco's entire food court menu, the only logical approach was to order everything on it and eat it in one sitting. The experiment began at the counter, where employees raised eyebrows at my unusually robust order. A tray was not offered (Costco doesn't believe in trays), so I ferried my food in stages from the counter to my table, its own trial of endurance. Once seated, I worked my way through the spread systematically, starting with the Caesar salad and then moving from savory to sweet.

Each item was eaten as-is other than the hot dog, which was dressed with some simple Costco condiments. I took notes on flavor, texture, portion size, and overall satisfaction. Cost would've been a factor, but at Costco, almost everything feels like a bargain. The goal wasn't to compare Costco to fine dining, it was to evaluate the food court on its own iconic, inexpensive terms.