News - The Takeout

13-Year-Old Invents Healthy Lollipop And Becomes Millionaire, Types Takeout Writer Still Pantsless At 11:40 A.m.

By Allison Shoemaker June 28th, 2018 Read More
Survey Shows Which States Have Most Fast-Food Joints, Per Capita

By Gwen Ihnat June 28th, 2018 Read More
Fitness Center Lures Customers With Free Pizza

By Kate Bernot June 28th, 2018 Read More
Cheez Balls' Pop-Top Nostalgia To Hit Shelves Again

By Gwen Ihnat June 28th, 2018 Read More
This Month In Overturned Trucks: Chickens, Yogurt, Potatoes, Millions Of Bees

By Kate Bernot June 27th, 2018 Read More
Okay, Who Voted For A Birthday Cake-Flavored Auntie Anne's Pretzel? Declare Yourselves

By Allison Shoemaker June 27th, 2018 Read More
How Ordering An "angel Shot" Might Help You Escape A Bad Date

By Gwen Ihnat June 27th, 2018 Read More
Channing Tatum's New Vodka Sadly Not Named Magic Vodka XXL Or 21 Drink Street

By Allison Shoemaker June 27th, 2018 Read More
Burger King Resurrects "whazzzzzaaaaaaaaaaap," A Crime We Can Never Forgive

By Allison Shoemaker June 27th, 2018 Read More
Doughnut-Nabbing Squirrel Also Ready To Steal Pizza Rat's Mantle

By Gwen Ihnat June 27th, 2018 Read More
French Butchers Demand Protection From "terrorism" Of Vegan Attacks

By Kate Bernot June 27th, 2018 Read More
Is Cottage Cheese Making A Comeback?

By Gwen Ihnat June 27th, 2018 Read More
Beck's Debuts Champagne Flute-Shaped Can To Make Its Beer Classy

By Kate Bernot June 27th, 2018 Read More
The Following Foods Are Unacceptable On An Airplane

By Kate Bernot June 26th, 2018 Read More
A Dunkin' Donuts Offered Free Food To Anyone Who Reported Staff Not Speaking English

By Gwen Ihnat June 26th, 2018 Read More
Italian-American Group Offended By Staten Island Pizza Rats Baseball Team

By Kate Bernot June 26th, 2018 Read More
Marshmallow Test shows Gen Z Is More Patient Than Gen X

By Gwen Ihnat June 26th, 2018 Read More
Want To Enjoy Your Food More? Eat It Upside Down, Or Something

By Kate Bernot June 26th, 2018 Read More
Starbucks Blames Healthy Eating For Slide In Frappuccino Sales

By Gwen Ihnat June 26th, 2018 Read More
Bread Winner: Single Dudes Are Instagramming Sourdough Now

By Kate Bernot June 26th, 2018 Read More
How Dairy Queen Conquered America In One Fell Scoop

By Shannon Nico Shreibak June 25th, 2018 Read More
Listen To An Orchestra Of Instruments Made Out Of Vegetables

By Gwen Ihnat June 25th, 2018 Read More
60,000 Sheep Hanging Out In Australian Feed Lot After Feds Revoked Baaaad Exporter's License

By Kate Bernot June 25th, 2018 Read More
This Tick's Bite Causes Red Meat Allergies—and It's Spreading

By Kate Bernot June 25th, 2018 Read More
Anthony Bourdain's Toxicology Report Shows No Sign Of Narcotics

By Gwen Ihnat June 25th, 2018 Read More
Treat Yourself To An Egg Cup Ya Fancy Bastard

By Grace Perry June 25th, 2018 Read More
Group Urges Repeal Of Trump Hotel Liquor License For Lack Of "good Character"

By Gwen Ihnat June 22nd, 2018 Read More