11 Grocery Items That Deserve The Trader Joe's Treatment

It seems like Trader Joe's has everything. The beloved supermarket chain may sell private label items to keep prices low (with some exceptions, like the giant Danish kringles TJ's shoppers stock up on), but the store still has quite a variety of products on offer. From its array of frozen dinners to its cult favorite snacks (including the iconic Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups), you don't feel like you're missing out on anything. But despite that, there are a few items Trader Joe's doesn't sell, even though it would be really cool if it did.

Trader Joe's has been in business since 1967, so it has stocked a wide, wide range of products. While some of these items have never been offered by TJ's, there are others that were once sold but are now discontinued. While we understand that shelf space has to be carefully managed to keep prices down (hence why Trader Joe's always seems to discontinue your favorite products), we would like to offer this suggested list of items to anyone at Trader Joe's who may be reading this. Pretty please?

Trader Joe's may have a vaguely granola, Whole Foods-adjacent reputation, but it is not a health food store, as those aforementioned Danish kringles illustrate. But while it offers some prebiotic sodas, a few sparkling mixers, and the occasional non-Trader-Joe's soda brand (like Virgil's Root Beer), it does not sell good old-fashioned cola. Maybe it would be too much to ask for a Coca-Cola dupe, considering Coke's famous secret recipe, but surely some specialty brand or another can strike a deal to sell a straight-down-the-middle cola?

Frankly, we're as surprised as you are. The frozen aisle of Trader Joe's sells everything from dumplings to Portuguese custard tarts, but it does not sell pizza rolls, which were invented as a way to make use of a machine that made egg rolls. Sure, you can go to any supermarket or convenience store in town and pick up a bag of Totino's, but would it come in an elegantly designed red-and-white bag with a name like "Trader Joe's Crispy Neapolitan Pizza Bites?" We think not.

Trader Joe's sells dupes of cereals like Frosted Flakes and Honey Nut Cheerios, but one famous cereal is conspicuous in its absence. Whether you eat it from a bowl or just pick out the marshmallows from the box, it's a well-loved cereal for a reason, and we bet Trader Joe's would get quite a bit of mileage from its own version. The only question is, what would the marshmallows be shaped like?

The post-retirement project of a North Dakota woman named Dorothy "Dot" Henke eventually grew into a wildly popular gas station staple, and the brand is now owned by Hershey. We're sure that Trader Joe's can't just copy the craveable spice blend that coats these buttery pretzel twists, but it can get close enough for jazz, can't it? Besides, just think about the whimsical, faux-old-timey design TJ's could print on the bags.

Once upon a time, Trader Joe's did sell pound cake by the slice, but today the only traces that can be found seem to be old pictures on calorie-tracking apps. Sure, pound cake may not be as exciting as some other dessert options, but it's not like butter cookies or Belgian-style waffles are going to blow anyone's mind on their own, and Trader Joe's still offers those. The people yearn for something pleasant and dependable to eat with their tea!

We can only really guess as to why Trader Joe's doesn't have Worcestershire sauce — maybe it figured it couldn't compete with Lea & Perrins, or perhaps it just didn't think it was worth the shelf space. Whatever the case, it would be nice to pick up a bottle for our steak marinades and shrimp cocktail recipes without having to make two stops while running errands.

Technically, Trader Joe's does offer honey mustard, but it's made with ever-trendy hot honey. According to customers, it's pretty good, but it does make us wonder why TJ's couldn't have just sold a regular, non-spicy honey mustard for us to dip our chicken nuggets into. Maybe it figured there wasn't enough demand unless there was a hip new ingredient thrown in. We're sure Trader Joe's has a team of analysts who can make that decision, but it's food for thought.

Trader Joe's once sold a pretty potent horseradish, but for reasons that we're sure make sense to the bean counters in TJ's headquarters, it is no longer available. There is the occasional specialty item, such as Trader Joe's much-loved Ridge Cut Potato Chips Seasoned with Horseradish and Chives, but the actual condiment is a no-go these days. It's a terrible shame, if you ask us — how else are we supposed to boost our roast beef sandwiches?

Costco has it. Sam's Club has it. Your local supermarket chain probably has it, but Trader Joe's doesn't. There's no denying how tasty and versatile a rotisserie chicken can be, serving as dinner one evening and easy-to-make weeknight meals for the rest of the week. They're commonly sold as an inexpensive loss leader meant to encourage customers to shop further. Perhaps that strategy doesn't make sense for Trader Joe's business model. While the chain offers seasoned and shredded rotisserie chicken pieces, the store doesn't sell a whole bird.

Trader Joe's offers a few different types of fries, from the classic "handsome cut" to waffle fries to sweet potato fries. But if you're looking for a fry that curls like a cute little pig's tail, we're afraid you're out of luck. Trader Joe's once sold curly fries, but it's another one of those items that has been lost to the sands of time. It's a shame, though — can you imagine how hard a Trader Joe's dupe of Arby's curly fries would go?

This is another one of those items that Trader Joe's has sort of circled around but has never fully committed to. It has sold plenty of hot sauces, of course, and added a Buffalo sauce enriched with avocado oil to its lineup. But it has never offered a reliable, vinegar-forward hot sauce in the Louisiana style — no dupes of Tabasco or Crystal to be found here. Granted, it's tough to compete with Texas Pete, but it seems to be worth a try.