Review: Taco's Bell Vanilla Cream And Orange Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze Are A Hard Pass

In 2007, Taco Bell started thinking real cool thoughts with the introduction of its Frutista Freeze line in select markets. A year later, the idea went nationwide, but with the new option to add a little creme flavoring into the mix of fruits like strawberries, mango, and berries. While the term "Frutista Freeze" was frozen out sometime around 2012, it then moved forward as just a plain old "Freeze" thereafter. Plenty of Freeze flavors have been offered up in the following years, many with a dash of creme, including the solid Baja Blast Dreams that bowed earlier this year. Taco Bell is one again leaning on creme, but specifically as vanilla cream soda. The twist here is that it's not being utilized as a flavor partner, but as the flavor standing alone in the spotlight. Welcome to this world, albeit for a brief time the Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze, as well as the Orange Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze.

Vanilla cream soda is an acquired taste, but will one be required to enjoy these new Taco Bell Freezes? There's only one way to find out. Trouble is, it was kind of hard to find a location that served both, but when The Takeout finally located one, we rushed out to try them.  With a trusty plastic straw in hand, we took a sip and are now ready to tell all in this frosty chew & review.

Taco Bell is offering two new limited time Freezes — Vanilla Cream Soda, and Orange Vanilla Cream Soda. Vanilla cream soda has been kicking around since at least the mid-19th century, then known as "a drink for summer." While never fully adapted as a widely popular drink, today, it has maintained a level of fandom for those who enjoy the smooth vanilla taste swimming in either cola or root beer. While companies like Dr. Brown's and A&W have kept the flavor continuously flowing, other brands have tapped its potential in recent times, including Dr. Pepper, and even Wild Cherry Pepsi, with delicious results. While vanilla creme has long been a flavor employed by Taco Bell to further sweeten up its Freezes, I believe that this is the first time it's been presented as a vanilla cream soda flavor. 

The chain describes the Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze as "Smooth, creamy and made for sweet indulgence. The Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze takes a sweet vanilla slushy base and layers it with rich vanilla creme for a classic flavor with a frozen twist." The Orange variation doesn't sound that much different, but is described as "a bold swirl of citrus flavor and cream in every sip. This freeze blends a sweet vanilla frozen slushy base with a swirl of sweet vanilla crème and a ribbon of tangy orange flavor for the perfect icy treat."

Starting this September, Taco Bell is offering a Vanilla Cream Soda and Orange Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze at participating nationwide locations. They will only be available for an unspecified limited time, and while supplies last. The Freezes can be ordered any time Taco Bell is open, which includes breakfast hours. 

These Freezes are available in two sizes — a 16-ounce regular and 20-ounce large. At my local Manhattan location, those sizes could be had for $3.99 and $4.99, but prices will vary from store to store. For locations that offer a "Happier Hour" from 2-5pm, a medium can be scored for just a dollar. The Freezes can also be chosen as the drink of choice for combo meals. There is an upcharge for this option, and at the Taco Bell I visited, it ranged from $.90-$1.90 for the privilege.

These Freezes can be found on Taco Bell's menu under the "New" and "Drinks" submenus. They can be ordered in-store at the register, kiosk, or drive-thru where available. Advance ordering for dine-in, pick-up, or delivery can be placed on Taco Bell's app and website. Additional fees may apply for delivery orders. Check the app and website for availability in your area.

My two Freezes were handed over to me in plastic cups with a graphic design on the side. With an opaque covering, I was sadly denied the option to view these Freezes from the side, and had to rely on the top as my only visual reference. What I saw in this brief surface of the Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze was a just settled pile of bone white cement. I leaned in for a whiff and the faint essence of vanilla crept into my nostrils. Had I known what was to come, I would have wished "faint" applied to the taste.

I punctured the surface of this Freeze and twirled the straw around, noticing the mix had a real nice thickness. Without further ado, I took a sip. I didn't need to send anything to the lab, as the results were immediate — this was positively undrinkable. Granted, I am not the world's biggest cream soda fan, but I always try to keep an open mind and mouth, hoping to enjoy whatever sits before me. My open mind and mouth immediately wanted to shutter at the thought of another sip. Alas, I had to press forwards, but subsequent sips didn't help, and actually made my opinion worsen. I wanted to give up, but had to keep at it to try and discern how anyone could possibly take more than a single sip of it. Sure, a little vanilla cream flavoring can go a long way, but here, it's non-stop, and therefore non-stop nauseous.

The surface of the Orange Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze had a slightly more pleasing appearance, as the dash of orange syrup helped to bring a bit of sunshine into the proceedings. This one's smell had an even fainter hint of the vanilla, with the zest of orange tapping into its aroma. To further disperse the orange syrup that was pumped into this Freeze, I stirred it up with my straw. While it looked a bit more runny than the plain Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze, this orange slush still retained an applaudable level of thickness.

After being so taken aback by the Vanilla Cream Soda Freeze, I was intimidated to try the orange version, but also hopeful it could save the day. A single sip of this one proved that the day was not going to be saved. While a fruit flavoring normally would help bring balance to a stronger flavor like vanilla cream, here it somehow made it worse. The more I went at this one — at a very slow pace, mind you — the more it repulsed me. I'm all for a good creamsicle, but this treat was like a nightmaresicle, swimming in an artificial swill that I wanted gone from my mouth.

I always try to find the good in everything, assuming that if a product made it to market, it must have some redeeming qualities. I will say that these Vanilla Cream Soda Freezes do have one aspect that registered positively with my dining experience — the slush maintained its thickness for a prolonged length of time. The question is, how much time could any consumer dedicate to these new drinks? I think I spent more time placing my order on the app than I did actually drinking these. Literally one sip in and I was ready to retire from Freezes forever. I held off for as long as I could, but at some point I had to cry both uncle AND aunt.

Usually drinks are there to serve as a refresher to a meal, but these Freezes seemed to prove the opposite was true. I ordered some classic throwback grub from the Y2K Decades Menu, but not even the taste of a 7-Layer Burrito or Double Decker Taco could erase the damage done. I was hoping their salty savoriness could erase the putrid sweetness implanted in my mouth, but the sweetness cruelly reigned supreme. The only way to put an end to all this taste madness was to unite these Freezes with its true dining partner — the trash can. Good riddance.