News - The Takeout

Alabama Bars Sheriffs From Pocketing Excess Prison Food Funds, Which Was Totally Legal Yesterday

By Kate Bernot July 12th, 2018 Read More
Bet You Butter Pecan't Guess Which Ice-Cream Flavor Is One Of America's Top 3

By Gwen Ihnat July 12th, 2018 Read More
Gummy Bears Helped Police Crack The Case Of A Naked Runner

By Kate Bernot July 12th, 2018 Read More
Papa John's Founder Resigns, Leaving Behind Legacy Of PR Dumpster fires [UPDATED]

By Gwen Ihnat July 12th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Stop Putting Weird Things On Pop-Tarts

By Gwen Ihnat July 11th, 2018 Read More
What's Your Go-To Dinner When It's Stupid Hot Outside?

By Kevin Pang July 11th, 2018 Read More
Louisiana Waiter Accused Of Stabbing Customer After Hot-Sauce-Drinking Contest

By Kevin Pang July 11th, 2018 Read More
LeBron James Teases Appearance At California Pizzeria, Then No-Shows

By Gwen Ihnat July 11th, 2018 Read More
Your Doctor May Know Less About Nutrition Than You'd Think

By Kate Bernot July 11th, 2018 Read More
Rescued Thai Soccer Players Want Barbecue, Are Fed Plain Rice Instead

By Kate Bernot July 11th, 2018 Read More
Experts: Don't Share Ice Cream With Your Adorable, Shit-Eating Dog

By Gwen Ihnat July 11th, 2018 Read More
The Handmaid's Tale Has Branded Wine Now, And No. No. No. No. No. Just No. No.

By Allison Shoemaker July 11th, 2018 Read More
That Handmaid's Tale wine Is Already Cancelled (Yes, Actually Cancelled)

By Allison Shoemaker July 11th, 2018 Read More
Free 7-Eleven Slurpee Today Is The Last Nice Thing We Have

By Kevin Pang July 11th, 2018 Read More
Florida Cop Not Letting Go Of His Tainted-Burger King Conspiracy Theory

By Kate Bernot July 11th, 2018 Read More
Crispy Microwaved Bacon, Science's Final Hurdle, May Be Within Reach

By Kevin Pang July 10th, 2018 Read More
The Price For Free Chick-Fil-A Today Is Your Dignity

By Allison Shoemaker July 10th, 2018 Read More
I Like Peanuts, But Keeping Other People Alive Seems Pretty Good Too

By Allison Shoemaker July 10th, 2018 Read More
Millennials Rejoice: Avocado Toast Now Available In Chocolate Bar Form

By Gwen Ihnat July 10th, 2018 Read More
Costco Phasing Out Polish Dog From Some Locations Because 2018 Doesn't Suck Enough

By Gwen Ihnat July 10th, 2018 Read More
Mummified 6-Year-Old McDonald's Meal Pulled From eBay [UPDATED]

By Kate Bernot July 10th, 2018 Read More
Mitch McConnell Joins Club Of Politicians Angrily Confronted By Protesters At Restaurants

By Kevin Pang July 9th, 2018 Read More
Kombucha Hasn't Been Widely Available In Cans—until Now

By Kate Bernot July 9th, 2018 Read More
Latest Grocery Store Prank: Carving Creepy Messages Into "haunted" bananas

By Gwen Ihnat July 9th, 2018 Read More
Why Prince Louis' Christening Guests Will Be Eating 7-Year-Old Cake

By Gwen Ihnat July 9th, 2018 Read More
Does Drinking Sparkling Water Make You Hungry?

By Kate Bernot July 9th, 2018 Read More
Starbucks To Replace Straws With New Type Of Lids By 2020

By Gwen Ihnat July 9th, 2018 Read More