News - The Takeout

U.K. Might Change Laws Because Too Many People Are Getting Sloshed At The Airport

By Kate Bernot November 1st, 2018 Read More
Just Try To Be Offended By The New Starbucks Holiday Cups

By Gwen Ihnat November 1st, 2018 Read More
Packaged Avocado Toast "Kits" Are Either Genius Or Insufferable

By Kate Bernot November 1st, 2018 Read More
Halloween Kicks Off My Annual Months-Long War On Candy

By Gwen Ihnat November 1st, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Finally, A Drunk Emoji!

By Kate Bernot October 31st, 2018 Read More
Iowa Man Spends $3,000 On Trick-Or-Treat Candy—can We Have His Address, Please?

By Allison Shoemaker October 31st, 2018 Read More
"Let's Murder Vegans Haha" Magazine Editor Resigns

By Allison Shoemaker October 31st, 2018 Read More
Behold The Skull Calzone, 2018's Best Novelty Halloween Foodstuff

By Allison Shoemaker October 31st, 2018 Read More
WeWork Now Limits NYC Workers To Measly 4 Free Beers Per Day

By Kate Bernot October 31st, 2018 Read More
Cutie-Pie Baby Named After Colonel Sanders Gets $11,000 From KFC

By Gwen Ihnat October 31st, 2018 Read More
Let's share Our Awkward Halloween Stories, Shall We?

By Kate Bernot October 31st, 2018 Read More
Ben & Jerry's Releases Pecan Resist Flavor, Part Of A Campaign To "Lick Injustice"

By Gwen Ihnat October 31st, 2018 Read More
Man Caught Tasting Soup Directly From Hot Bar's Ladle, Horrifying Entire World

By Kate Bernot October 31st, 2018 Read More
This Month In Overturned Trucks: Bagel Bites, Corona Light, Lots Of Cows

By Kate Bernot October 30th, 2018 Read More
What Exactly Is A Circus Peanut?

By Gwen Ihnat October 30th, 2018 Read More
Italian Bike Commuters Rewarded With Free Beer, Gelato

By Gwen Ihnat October 30th, 2018 Read More
Russell Westbrook Trades Large Shoe For Slice Of Pizza, Gets Stiffed On The Pizza

By Allison Shoemaker October 30th, 2018 Read More
Austin Bar Dresses Up As Moe's Tavern For Halloween, Complete With Duff And Squishees

By Allison Shoemaker October 30th, 2018 Read More
We Admit To The Following Unpopular Candy Opinions

By Kate Bernot October 30th, 2018 Read More
Stop Feeding Subway Bread To Deer, Warns Colorado Wildlife Agency

By Kate Bernot October 30th, 2018 Read More
Magazine Editor Uses Rejection Letter As Chance To Tell "Let's Murder Vegans" Jokes

By Allison Shoemaker October 30th, 2018 Read More
Reese's Candy Converter Turns Inferior Sweets Into Peanut Butter Cups

By Gwen Ihnat October 30th, 2018 Read More
McDonalds Tests Fresh-Not-Frozen Chicken

By Kate Bernot October 30th, 2018 Read More
Vote Or Pie: Group Will Deliver Pizzas To Polling Stations With Long Lines

By Kate Bernot October 30th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Who's ever Seen A Full-Size Mr. Goodbar?

By Kate Bernot October 29th, 2018 Read More
Jimmy John's Driver Delivers Man To Hospital After Wrong-Number Call

By Gwen Ihnat October 29th, 2018 Read More
U.S. Troops Drank All The Beer In Iceland's Capital In One Weekend

By Gwen Ihnat October 29th, 2018 Read More