News - The Takeout

Are Teens Too Young To Drink Coffee?

By Gwen Ihnat November 5th, 2018 Read More
Biëryoncé Pilsner Came To Slay, Bitch

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
You Can Now Get Fucked Up At Applebee's For $3

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
Is Soup A Meal?

By Caitlin PenzeyMoog November 5th, 2018 Read More
Is Hooters As Delicious As It Is Demeaning?

By Katie Rife November 5th, 2018 Read More
Scoff All You Want, Applebee's $1 Cocktails Are Paying Off

By Gwen Ihnat November 5th, 2018 Read More
Don't Listen To Anyone Who Says You Should Eat Your Burgers Upside Down

By Kevin Pang November 5th, 2018 Read More
This Phallus-In-A Tub-Of-Butter Story Really Let Us Down

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
Obama Leaves $40 Tip For Taco Lunch In Florida

By Gwen Ihnat November 5th, 2018 Read More
Democrats More Likely To Drink And Eat Their Feelings From Election Stress

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
Why Restaurants' "Free Food If You Voted" Deals Are Probably Illegal

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
Pringles Offers Thanksgiving Dinner Chips In Turkey, Stuffing, Pumpkin Pie Flavors

By Kate Bernot November 5th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Some Jerk Customer, A Pretzel-Crusted Brownie, And Darkness-Era Bruce

By Kevin Pang November 2nd, 2018 Read More
PB&J Tide Pods Are Here

By Kate Bernot November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Keep The Halloween Spirit Alive With 2 Spooky Netflix Series

By Gwen Ihnat November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Jimmy Dean Petitions Merriam-Webster To Remove Bread From Definition Of Sandwich

By Allison Shoemaker November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Starbucks Brings Back Its Heathen Red Cup In Reusable Form

By Gwen Ihnat November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Red Sox Players Reportedly Left The Takeout staff's Collective Salary As Tip

By Kate Bernot November 2nd, 2018 Read More
What's The Weirdest Thing That Showed Up In Your Kid's Trick-Or-Treat Bucket This Year?

By Gwen Ihnat November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Alexa, Ask Butterball If My Turkey Should Be On Fire

By Allison Shoemaker November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Woman Gives Birth In Siberian Supermarket, Fazing No One

By Kate Bernot November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Pittsburgh City Officials Oppose Chick-Fil-A Sponsoring Kids' Marathon

By Kate Bernot November 2nd, 2018 Read More
Tamales Are A Treat for Día De Los Muertos—and The Other 364 Days Of The Year

By Jesse Valenciana November 1st, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Who Is Jonesing For Target's New Sugar Cookie Milk?

By Gwen Ihnat November 1st, 2018 Read More
Authorities Nab Pumpkin-Smashers Responsible For $30,000 In Damages

By Gwen Ihnat November 1st, 2018 Read More
I'm Thrilled Fishless Vegan "Tuna" Exists, If Only For Its Punny Name

By Kate Bernot November 1st, 2018 Read More
Should You Impose A "candy Tax" On Your Kids' Halloween Stash?

By Gwen Ihnat November 1st, 2018 Read More