Our Least Favorite Mayo Brand On Store Shelves Is Unexpectedly Popular

Mayonnaise, it's long been said, is the reverb of sandwiches. Much as reverb unobtrusively adds depth and dimension to a song, so too does mayo round out your sandwich eating experience, adding creamy texture and just a little bit of tang. But which brand do you buy at the supermarket? The Takeout tried 13 different brands of mayonnaise, ranking them from worst to best, and we came back with a few solid conclusions. Namely, you shouldn't choose Kraft mayo, which an alarming number of people do on a regular basis. The trouble starts straight away, with the label taking pains to declare itself "real mayo." Sure, maybe it's meant as a contrast to Miracle Whip, which is decidedly not real mayo, but we reckon this is an ill-advised brag on the company's part. 

Then there's the matter of color, which in this case is weirdly bright and also blindingly white. Mayonnaise should ideally be pleasantly off-white or even a gentle yellow shade, similar to the above image. In fact, when it's a dead ringer for marshmallow fluff (which you can easily make yourself at home, just FYI), that's actually a warning sign something's off. And we haven't even got to how it tastes yet which, to be clear, isn't worthy of much discussion since there's not a lot there.

Mayonnaise has become a byword for something quite bland and milquetoast, but if you get good mayo, you'll know it's really nothing of the sort. Decent mayonnaise is a little creamy, a little sweet, a little tangy, and an all-around delicious addition to any sandwich. Unfortunately, that's not what we got from Kraft real mayo. Rather than that deliciously yolk-forward richness, or a nice tang of acidity, that you expect from a high-quality mayo, it barely tastes of anything at all, while its off-putting, fluffy texture only adds to that feeling of insubstantiality. 

While a borderline whipped makeup may sound like a good thing, it's not what you want from mayo; much like ice cream with too much air whipped into it to stretch ingredients and save a buck (we're looking at you, Friendly's strawberry ice cream), whipped mayonnaise may indicate that the process of creating it wasn't exactly the most in-depth. As one Redditor succinctly put it, "Kraft Mayo is so disgusting." Another user even suggested the recipe may have been changed at some stage, since, "I noticed it tasted sweet [and] the mustard flavor was gone."

If you want a better mayo experience, you can always try some of the other options higher up on our list, including Trader Joe's and Julia Child's beloved Hellmann's mayonnaise; but steer clear of Kraft.