One Of Cup Noodles' New Thanksgiving Flavors Might Actually Ruin Your Holiday

Cup Noodles brand has become somewhat notorious for releasing off-the-wall flavors like Dill Pickle noodles, breakfast noodles, and everything bagel noodles – it even dipped its toe into the dessert world when it released s'mores-flavored noodles last year. The company must be feeling mighty festive this year, because it recently released a Thanksgiving-inspired turkey dinner-flavored noodle along with, wait for it ... a pumpkin pie flavor. 

I guess there are no legal limits when it comes to limited-time flavors now. So when Cup Noodles offered to send me a few cups, I gritted my teeth and accepted the offer for the taste test. I can handle ranch-flavored ice cream. I can even wince through chicken noodle soup-flavored cough drops. I figured I could take one for the Takeout team when it came to some turkey or pumpkin pie-flavored noodles. I mean, a turkey dinner-inspired noodle cup, that doesn't sound half-bad, and pumpkin pie usually just means a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice. That's just the culinary scent equivalent of falling leaves, right? So I revved up the microwave, pulled out my trusty ramen-eating chopsticks, and put my taste buds through their paces.

The prep on both sets of noodles is simple; just rip off the whole lid, fill the cup to the water line marked inside the cup, and let the microwave do its thing (make sure to put the cup on a plate, however, as these cups tend to bubble over). According to the official press release, the turkey dinner version is supposed to combine "the rich essence of herb-seasoned turkey broth with sweet corn, tangy cranberry bursts, crisp green beans, warming spices, and tender noodles."

However, after my first bite, I noticed absolutely none of this stuff aside from a few stray corn kernels and a few green bean slices, which I originally mistook for peas. Those cranberry bits I totally mistook for red bell pepper flakes (they tasted similar, except tangier), and there was no sage-like herbiness in the sauce to be found. It basically just tasted like chicken-flavored ramen with no broth. The no-broth thing was an issue, too, because these noodles congealed into a single block within a few minutes. If you gave me a helping of these noodles outside of the cup, I would just assume they were a normal chicken flavor and be perfectly happy with it. But Thanksgiving? No way. If you like chicken-flavored ramen, you'll like these just fine, but I'd be surprised if you tried them and immediately imagined sitting down to a turkey dinner with the family.

The pumpkin pie-flavored noodles had a bizarre smell to them that was wholly artificial — and the strangest part is that they didn't smell anything like pumpkin pie. I couldn't detect any of that typical warm spice you get from everyone's favorite Thanksgiving pastry, and instead, I just got a blast of what smelled like artificially sweetened zucchini mixed with a touch of pool water. It was almost plasticine in nature, like an actual scented toy, and extremely off-putting. The flavor was exactly how it smelled, but somehow worse because of the sucralose in it, which is a zero-calorie sugar substitute. What was even more absurd is that these noodles still contained a whopping 960 milligrams of sodium, or 42% of your recommended daily intake of salt.

I can easily say that these noodles are some of the worst things I've eaten this year. But in a strangely entertaining way. What's even more incredible is that the container suggests that you serve these noodles with whipped cream for the full experience. Would that have made them better? Probably not. I think what would have made them better is if I hadn't even eaten them at all. I'll say, be patient and wait for actual Thanksgiving to roll around — and if you really want that pumpkin pie that badly, Costco's pumpkin pie is back in the cooler. I can guarantee that won't taste or smell like a melted Barbie doll.