The Space-Wasting Kitchen Utensil That Literally No One Needs

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So many cool kitchen tools make life a million times easier, from the Julia Child-approved food processor to the gravy-smoothing immersion blender, the citrus-zesting microplane, and the french fry reviving air fryer. But even as these culinary titans occupy the kitchen cupboard hall of fame, many more useless duds have totally biffed their way into the junk drawer. Need another one? Enter the lil gizmo that somehow makes lettuce hard to do: salad scissors. Run, don't walk, away from these things as fast as possible.

What exactly are salad scissors you seem to say while selling seashells by the seashore? Well, as you may have guessed, this is a pair of scissors, designed specifically for salad. If you regularly chop salad veg with kitchen shears, you may (like me) mistake these for being a sort of fancier version of a stone-cold hit. (Like the Edward Scissorhands of arugula.) Yet, I assure you, they are the evil step-sisters of kitchen shears, doing the opposite of cutting, and instead mangling and mashing your delicate spinach, tomatoes, and peppers to near-death with a surprising level of clunkiness. If they happen to open wide enough to fully grasp a baby carrot (which you must then use the force of two hands to cut) the outermost carrot ends will shoot across your kitchen with ballistic force, far from your bowl of slashed romaine and punctured Romas. (Wait, weren't we just trying to make a salad?)

Skip those nichey salad scissors and chop, cut, and slice your veggies with utensils that actually work. Also, for real this time, don't skimp on the croutons.

Right now, this might feel a little like we're in the beginning of an infomercial where a hapless soul pretends to be the literal worst at making a salad. But — surprise, you guys — you can chop your veggies without any newfangled gadgets, using the stuff you probably already have in your kitchen.

Maybe the most popular technique involves grabbing your sharpest chef's knife, and slicing your lettuce into thin strips by hand — a few initial lengthwise cuts keep the leaves bite-sized. Of course, if you're working with lots of ingredients, you could skip the cutting board and use your pizza cutter to chop your salad by running it back and forth right inside your bowl. For anyone with limited mobility, the Fullstar veggie chopper and spiralizer can be a lifesaver — just press the lid down and your onion is diced. Shave your Brussels on a mandoline; turn carrots into ribbons with a veggie peeler; and use your food processor's slicing disc to churn out paper-thin radishes.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of KitchenAid All Purpose Kitchen Schears, a tool which also comes in varieties that pop bottle caps and wine corks, crack nuts, and most definitely chop a hefty helping of veggies in a snap — including carrots. If you just want to throw a bunch of ingredients into a bowl and chop them all without thinking too hard, this tool's for you. Whatever beauty points you might lose in "Chef's Table"-like elegance, you gain in the mealtime bliss of prepping your salad in seconds. Once you realize you definitely don't need useless, space-wasting salad scissors, you're free to chop your favorite veggies however you like.