News - The Takeout

2018 Isn't Done With Us Yet: Ritz Products Under Precautionary Recall

By Gwen Ihnat July 23rd, 2018 Read More
This Star Trek Vodka Boldly Goes Where Blah Blah You Get It

By Allison Shoemaker July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Starbucks To Open First U.S. "Signing Store" Staffed By ASL-Proficient Staff

By Kate Bernot July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Try To Contain The Excitement Of Camilla's Royal Birthday Cake

By Allison Shoemaker July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Baltimore Banishes Sugary Sodas From Kids' menus

By Gwen Ihnat July 23rd, 2018 Read More
American Cheese No Longer America's Cheese

By Gwen Ihnat July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Chick-Fil-A Will Now Sell Meal Kits For Those Who Like Chicken But Hate Convenience

By Kevin Pang July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Meat Industry Beefs Up Propaganda To Combat "forced Vegetarianism" In The Workplace

By Kate Bernot July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Thousands Of People Want To Drink Putrid Mummy Juice Found In Egyptian Sarcophagus

By Kate Bernot July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Look At This Alleged Russian Spy's Wet Eggs

By Allison Shoemaker July 23rd, 2018 Read More
How Do Food TV Hosts Eat Gracefully On Camera?

By Kate Bernot July 23rd, 2018 Read More
Last Call: Greetings From The World's Most Depressing City

By Kevin Pang July 20th, 2018 Read More
McDonald's And Starbucks Joins Forces To Invent Compostable Cup Of The Future

By Gwen Ihnat July 20th, 2018 Read More
Cheat Day Land Museum Here To Perpetrate Unhealthy Relationships With Food

By Gwen Ihnat July 20th, 2018 Read More
Baby's Reward For Being Born In Chick-Fil-A Is Free Nugs For Rest Of Her Goddamn Life

By Kevin Pang July 20th, 2018 Read More
Woman Who Jumps Behind Burger King Counter To Help Cook is The Takeout's Employee Of The Month

By Kevin Pang July 20th, 2018 Read More
BREAKING: Everyone Drinking More

By Allison Shoemaker July 20th, 2018 Read More
British Grocer Introduces Weekly "Quieter Hour" For Shoppers With Autism

By Kate Bernot July 20th, 2018 Read More
Shake Shack Cosplays As Bob's Burgers For San Diego Comic Con

By Allison Shoemaker July 20th, 2018 Read More
Texans Bake Cookies, Roast Hot Dogs On Hot Car Dashboard

By Kate Bernot July 20th, 2018 Read More
Takes-No-Shit Waitress Body-Slams Groping Customer

By Gwen Ihnat July 20th, 2018 Read More
Noodles & Co. Shake Off Long Slump Thanks To Non-Noodles

By Kate Bernot July 20th, 2018 Read More
With Fava Beans And Chianti: What Would Humans Taste Like?

By Calle Hack July 19th, 2018 Read More
Last Call: You Should Read Michael Pollan's Book On Psychedelics And Listen To Dinosaur Jr.

By Kate Bernot July 19th, 2018 Read More
"Went To The Cemetery And Saw A Family Grilling On A Tombstone" Is not a Smiths Song

By Kevin Pang July 19th, 2018 Read More
Restaurant To Family Of Girl Who Pocketed Tip Money: Return It And We'll Take Down The Video

By Gwen Ihnat July 19th, 2018 Read More
Aldi's Color-Changing Gin Is Magical, Drinkable, And Unavailable Stateside

By Allison Shoemaker July 19th, 2018 Read More