Baby's Reward For Being Born In Chick-Fil-A Is Free Nugs For Rest Of Her Goddamn Life

Imagine you're Gracelyn Griffin, born Tuesday in San Antonio, 16 years into the future. She walks into a Chick-Fil-A with friends, they're ordering fried chicken sandwiches and her pals reach for their wallets. Griffin holds up a hand and just says: "I got this." Her friends shoot a puzzled look and ask: "How?" Griffin just points to where she's standing and says: "I was born in this mufuh."

That's right: Gracelyn Griffin won some sort fast-food cosmic lottery this week, as her mother gave birth to her in a Chick-Fil-A bathroom in Texas. According to KSAT-TV, Falon Griffin began experiencing contractions Tuesday night and was rushed to the hospital by her husband when she cried out that the baby won't wait. They pulled over to a Chick-Fil-A—which happens to be one of their favorite restaurants—and soon after, little Gracelyn entered the world steps away from the Polynesian sauce and Spicy Chicken Sandwich. What's more: Just three months earlier, Gracelyn's parents bought a baby onesie from the restaurant that reads "Little Nugget."

But let's not bury the lede: For the price of not having medically trained staff nearby and the excruciating pain of her mother giving birth without pain-killers, Gracelyn Griffin has won herself free Chick-Fil-A for the rest of her life (and less enticing, a guaranteed job at age 14).

This is exactly the type of good PR Chick-Fil-A needs today, after news that they're getting rid of their cow calendars in 2019, to the consternation of dozens.