This Restaurant Seating Mistake Is Likely Annoying Your Server

If you're making a dinner reservation, it's understandable that you'd want the evening to be perfect. You've looked at the menu ahead of time and maybe you have a specific table in mind. After all, sitting in the crowded center of the restaurant could be the mistake that ruins your meal, right? However, demanding to choose your own spot can be a quick way to start trouble. For some perspective from the other side of the restaurant, we spoke to Frankie Weinberg, author, distinguished professor of management at Loyola University New Orleans, and the co-owner of the New Orleans restaurants Pomelo and Good Catch.

Weinberg explained that restaurant seating is a "fragile system" which is carefully organized by the restaurant staff, even if it may not look that way. According to Weinberg, "From the guest's point-of-view, they might walk into a restaurant and see empty tables that they like the look of, but what they do not realize is that the table is likely linked to another reservation of someone who is coming in soon, and which, if seated there, the fragile system would fold like dominoes." Something as minor as stealing a chair from another restaurant table if your party is too big can throw it off, so attempting to force your way onto a different table will only mess up everyone's dinner plans.

In situations where you really need to change tables, your attitude might be the most important factor. There are ways to ask for a different table at a restaurant without being rude, and Weinberg suggests that restaurant staff tend to be more accommodating when you make requests rather than demands. According to Weinberg, when it comes to guests who insist on certain tables due to a sense of entitlement or social status, "Research on service interactions shows that when guests assert dominance early, staff reactively shift from 'proactive hospitality' mode to 'defensive compliance' which, as it sounds, can result in a less hospitable experience all around." In short, be nice.

If there's a specific table you like, asking earlier is also ideal. Weinberg says the best time to ask is when you make your reservation. "Adding a note like 'If possible, we'd love a quieter corner or a booth, but if that's not doable, we completely understand' would signal both your preference as well as an understanding of the constraints the restaurant likely faces, and it gives the host options and an opportunity to proactively meet your preference if possible." If you don't have a reservation, you can ask the host for a table request but don't give them a hard time if they can't do it — they're not saying no because they hate you, they're saying no because they can't do it.