I Was A Bartender For 4 Years And I Would Never Order This One Drink

Every bartender has a least favorite drink. It could be that nightmare pisco sour special that gave them repetitive strain injury one festive season, the mojito that was on the menu despite the food processor being completely incapable of crushing ice, or the espresso martini that always marked the entrance of a messy bachelorette party. After years working at cocktail bars and dives, my never-again drink is a little different; I'll never order a Moscow mule, but it's not a cocktail I hate making. In fact, I drink mules at home pretty regularly and even prepare my own ginger beer (the good homemade stuff makes great non-alcoholic cocktails, too). It's not the drink I have a problem with; it's those textured copper mugs — they're a nightmare to keep clean.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not accusing your favorite bar of being generally unsanitary, but bars are usually busy, dark, and fast-moving. Even when barbacks and bartenders are doing their very best, keeping up with the constant collecting, washing, and polishing of glassware can be almost impossible.

With most serving glasses, this isn't too much of a problem. It's obvious if there's a lipstick mark, a streak of grease, or a few stubborn flecks of lime left behind after a hot wash cycle. This isn't true for mule cups. In the dim rush of a bar shift, they can easily be left less than clean, particularly if they're etched or dimpled, as sugar from ginger beer and citrus can hide in those hard to reach areas where it will eventually feed mold. It's even worse if the copper is tarnished, as the layer of oxidation might be home to bacteria and could also give your drink the flavor of a warm penny.

Even if you're confident in your relationship with your bartender, you probably shouldn't tell them you think their glasses are dirty. Instead, you could request another suitable glass, or you could expand your cocktail horizons and try other drinks with similar flavor profiles. 

As long as they don't have "mule" in the name, they're probably going to come in a glass. If you're in it for the ginger beer, you could try a ginger paloma; this twist on the Mexican tequila or mezcal drink replaces the club soda that's usually mixed with grapefruit juice and lime with ginger beer. A paloma is also sometimes made with grapefruit Squirt soda instead of juices and fizzy water, so double-check before you order, as this swap would leave you with a simple tequila and ginger beer.

For mule enthusiasts who are more into the vodka and cozy, warm flavors of a Moscow mule, there's the szarlotka, a Polish cocktail named after apple cake. This is one of the best cocktails for vodka fans, among my all time favorite drinks, and, honestly, it's a deeply underrated cocktail outside of Poland and the United Kingdom. You need bison grass-infused vodka, but many bars have it. By far the most popular brand is Zubrówka, so ask for that. The drink is simple — just the infused vodka, cloudy apple juice, a squeeze of lime, and, if you're feeling fancy, a cinnamon stick to stir it with. It genuinely tastes like apple pie filling but is somehow refreshing at the same time. Give it a try; you probably won't even miss those Moscow mules.