Remember Burger King's Satisfries? We Wish We Didn't

Speaking about his smoking habit, the late film director and lifelong Bob's Big Boy enthusiast David Lynch said something to the effect of,"We all want the things we love to be good for us." You can see this same impulse when it comes to the way people try to come up with "healthy" versions of their favorite foods. But sometimes, there's no real way around it: The ingredients that make something taste good, especially when it comes to fast food, are also often what make it unhealthy, and it's up to you to decide whether the trade-off is worth it. In the case of Burger King's ill-fated Satisfries, the answer was a resounding "no."

The idea behind it was sound, from a certain point of view. In the mid-2010s, customers were more health-conscious than ever, and they may very well have been open to a healthier alternative if it didn't taste too different or cost too much. And hey, these Satisfries (gosh, that's a stupid name) had a distinctive crinkle-cut design that made for an intriguing presentational choice. So long as it stuck the landing, Burger King could have really gone far with these fries. Its original fries are considered high quality for fast food, so surely it would be able to repeat that success, right?

So what was the problem? Well, there were a few, with price being the most visible. The Satisfries cost $.30 more than its regular counterpart, coming in at $1.89 rather than $1.59. That may sound pretty negligible, but from the consumer's point of view, they were already making a sacrifice by getting the healthy version of what's supposed to be an indulgent food. Why punish them (or their wallet) even further? (Also, their name kind of sounded like "saddest fries," which, if you're a sarcastic jerk on the internet, is kind of a layup.)

All of that could be forgiven if they tasted good, or if it was at least explained what made them more healthy. Satisfries achieved neither. Burger King did a lousy job of explaining what made these fries a healthier option that regular fries: It claimed that they absorbed less oil, but the problem with that is that french fries get that satisfying flavor from their oil. That lack of clarity made the main issue that much more obvious. To wit: If you want to be healthy, you're probably not going to be eating french fries to begin with. The item was discontinued not long after its big splashy debut.