The Annoying Request A Restaurant Chef Never Wants To Hear

Some folks have no qualms about dining out and leaving common restaurant etiquette rules at the door, perhaps assuming that the price of the cuisine entitles them to extra special treatment. It's one thing to make a simple request at McDonald's for a better burger, but trying to hack the menu to get a completely unique meal isn't something chefs are going to be enthusiastic about. Rocco Carulli, the executive chef and owner of R House, can tell the difference between the two just by the tone of the ask. "It's rarely the request itself — it's how it's delivered," he said. "When someone starts with 'Can I just...' it usually means we're about to go on a little culinary detour."

Asking for something straightforward isn't going to get a reaction like the infamous soup restauranteur from "Seinfeld." "A couple tweaks? Totally fine — especially for allergies or dietary needs," Carulli said. "We're here to accommodate and make sure everyone enjoys their meal." Yet, there is a not-so-fine line in the sand that separates a simple request from something that will make a chef cringe. "When modifications start to stack up like a game of Jenga, it can get tricky for consistency, timing, and flavor," Carulli said. "We love making people happy, truly — but when a dish turns into a choose-your-own-adventure with seven tweaks, it can throw the kitchen off rhythm," he explained.

There is an old joke in the culinary industry about folks who see a new restaurant open in town and immediately think, "Fantastic! My own personal chef has arrived!" Unfortunately, that's not how restaurants work. The menus are thoughtfully planned out by professionals with customers' tastes in mind. However, that doesn't mean that you should forgo special requests altogether.

While some restaurant-goers seem to think there is nothing wrong with ordering a freshly baked pizza from a steakhouse (I have personally witnessed this), most people are excited to taste the cuisine as envisioned by the chef. Analyzing the available options is appreciated, but folks don't necessarily need to start coming up with creative adjustments while perusing the menu. Rocco Carulli said, "We encourage guests to explore, but trust us — the menu was built with intention, and there's usually something already perfect for what you're craving."

Unfortunately, it is sometimes the polite customers who would never dream of making irritating requests at a bar or restaurant who can be sheepish about asking for something uncomplicated. Carulli wants those folks to know they have nothing to worry about. "A lot of requests that sound fussy are actually simple — as long as we know clearly and kindly what you need," he said. "Sauce on the side? No problem. No onions? Easy. Swapping a side for greens instead of fries? We've got you."

It really comes down to mutual appreciation. The chef and restaurant staff are glad you chose their establishment to spend your hard-earned dough and want you to walk away without regrets. Yet, customers should also trust that the chef and those staff members generally have a better understanding of how the restaurant functions than a guest does. "It's all about communication and collaboration," Carulli said. "When you're thoughtful with us, we'll always go the extra mile for you. That's hospitality."