13 Iconic British Biscuits, Ranked Worst To Best

From an outsider's perspective, is there anything more British than the ritual of a lovely cup of tea alongside some biscuits? Maybe the stiff upper lip? The royals? Still, tea and biscuits — a ritual that developed in the 19th century among the gentry and spread from there — has to be near the top of the list. While this tradition never really caught on in the U.S. — we're more coffee drinkers, though a cup of joe also pairs excellently with a nice cookie (our word for biscuits) — global distribution has made it much easier to find many of the U.K.'s popular biscuit brands this side of the pond, allowing the Anglophiles among us to travel with only our palates.

To get this out there sooner rather than later, I'm an American who has neither British heritage nor has spent any significant time in the U.K., other than a few vacations. While I've tried a few of these biscuit brands or styles in the past, for the most part I'm a newbie. As such, the impressions and rankings shared below are given from specifically that perspective. I am, in other words, not a lifetime consumer of Jaffa or Jammie, but I'm willing and open to take my taste buds for a ride across the ocean. If my rankings offend, just remember to keep calm and carry on.

I expected perhaps to make a "these-taste-like-cardboard" joke at some point in this article, so it's no surprise to find us there at the bottom of the list. It does, of course, seem obvious that the plain category of tea biscuits are not meant to be aggressively flavored. They're instead supposed to be a simple, semi-sweet cookie/cracker hybrid that is pleasant when eaten alongside (or even dipped into) a carefully prepared cuppa. 

But my word are these Rich Tea Biscuits from Burton's particularly bland. We're talking zero flavor. Significantly less flavor and a worse texture (so brittle) than Burton's other biscuits (see below). Even when dunked, these seem to somehow suck flavor out of the tea rather than enhance it.

An iconic British biscuit producer, the Burton's brand has a history dating back to 1882, and was long known as Burton's Gold Medal Biscuits. A number of mergers — with the likes of Fox's, Paterson's, and more — have occurred over the years, and today the company is known as Fox's Burton's Companies (FBC).

I'd never even heard of Jammie Dodgers (also produced by Burton's) before taking on this assignment, but I was darn excited to try them. Firstly, they're called Jammie Dodgers, and who wouldn't be interested in that? Plus, they look cool and have a raspberry jam center. This seemed like a slam dunk. Alas, they were super disappointing. Not so much because of the taste — which still wasn't great — but mainly because of the texture of the jam. 

I've had cookies and pastries stuffed with jam before (who hasn't?), and this is a classic technique for a reason. Soft, sweet, and fruity jam perfectly complements the cookie casing. In this case, calling this material "jam" feels like an enormous stretch. It's so ... chewy. How is jam chewy? I am so confused. Though perhaps a slight exaggeration, imagine a cookie stuffed with a thin Starburst candy, and you'll have Jammie Dodgers. It's not an enjoyable experience.

I thought maybe if I dipped the cookie in hot tea, it might soften the so-called jam. Nope. It softened the cookie, but the jam remained Starbursty, and in contrast to the now spongy cookie, seemed even weirder. Beyond the texture, the flavor of the jam is also disappointing, if less so. The cookie itself is classic shortbread, basic but tasty. The jam, however, lacks the rich, ripe flavor that one gets from a great raspberry jam. Though not the worst thing I've tasted, these are not worth seeking out.

The blend of chocolate, caramel, and vanilla flavors is good enough to place these KitKat-like bars higher on the list, but the texture lets them down. Badly. Similar to the Jammie Dodgers, they're also unexpectedly chewy. Wafer candy or cookies — which in this case are still called biscuits, even though that seems somewhat questionable — should be crispy, and these are nothing close. 

This experience, logically, sent me to the expiration date, because maybe, I thought, they're just stale? But no, they're well within the printed date on the package. Could it be a shipping and storage issue? Considering the double wrapping (meaning each individual bar is wrapped inside a larger package), maybe there is a shelf-life issue at play here. And if that's the case with choices like this and Jammie Dodgers, while perhaps unfair to judge them purely on staleness, this factor absolutely does need to be considered for the American market.

Tunnock's, it should be mentioned, is a wafer specialist, having produced a number of wafer-based bars filled with caramel, cream, and chocolate since 1890, so it seems odd that the wafer execution should be such a letdown. Alas, I can only rate what is in front of me, and these just aren't it.

This is surely going to disappoint a few people, considering McVitie's milk chocolate digestives are the best-selling sweet biscuit in the U.K., but these are by far the worst version of the chocolate digestive. Milk chocolate is generally more popular than dark, of course, but I'd argue this is precisely because it has less flavor, as things that are milder tend to appeal to the masses. Everything, it seems, regresses towards the mean. (But I may just be a chocolate snob.)

Anyway, even when coated on a biscuit that is purposely moderate in flavor, this chocolate fails to make an impression. It's there, but only in the barest way possible. In other words, anyone seeking a chocolate fix is unlikely to find it here. Aside from that, the biscuit is pleasant enough and dunks reasonably well, but remains disappointing based on its stated promise of chocolate flavor. Though in the end this is inoffensive, there are so many better options out there.

Being transparent, the success of Golden Oreos flummoxes me. The whole reason Oreos work in the first place is that the savory, bitter notes of the chocolate cookie offset the aggressively sweet cream within. Take away that bitter part as the golden cookies do, and the careful balance crumbles. What does this tangent have to do with Custard Cream Tasties you may ask? Well, they're rather similar to Golden Oreos, in that they feature crunchy plain biscuits filled with a decadently sweet custard cream.

These are easily the sweetest of the biscuits on the list, and while this feature may appeal to some eaters, I found it cloying. Even paired with the drying tannins of black tea, the sugary sensation was overly aggressive and lingered on my palate in a way I didn't completely enjoy. This isn't to say these are horrible — I'm sure plenty will find something to enjoy here — but rather that they're just a little too sweet to rank higher on the list.

Visually, these little mini-breadstick-like things, covered with milk chocolate — which are much smaller than I thought they'd be — seem somewhat ridiculous, but they are apparently one of the more popular biscuits in the U.K. Flavor-wise, the small stature of the biscuit itself ensures that the chocolate flavor is much more prominent than the aforementioned milk chocolate digestives, though Cadbury knowing a thing or two about chocolate may also come into play. As such, these are much better for a chocolate fix. That said, they do come across a bit more like candy than biscuits. But maybe that's why they work as small bites, offering just a tiny bit of indulgence to keep the day going.

A ding against these is that they don't really work as dippers. The heat of the tea melts the milk chocolate nicely, but that layer is thick enough that the biscuit itself does not soften, a factor that the more conventionally shaped chocolate-coated digestive biscuits usually handle better. And after all, if a biscuit isn't dippable, what even is the point?

The first thing to note here is that these biscuits are far better than Burton's Rich Tea Biscuits, mentioned above. Night and day. These have a crunchy, satisfying texture and a flavor that offers both a slight sweetness as well as significant wheat notes. If anything, the latter come across as slightly raw and harsh, which puts these slightly below the McVitie's plain digestives (see below). Otherwise, they're a solid everyday choice.

Another thing I found interesting about Burton's is that they come in a vacuum-packed sleeve, as opposed to other brands that use a box or have more protection on the ends. In this case, it's easy for the end biscuits to get crushed, causing both a mess upon opening the package, as well as the loss of a few good biscuits each time. Is this reason to pick one brand over the other? If the flavor is similar, it just might be.

Compared to the aforementioned milk chocolate digestives, this is a whole different world when it comes to delivering on a chocolate promise. This version uses a cocoa-flavored biscuit — which reminds me a bit of the chocolate Teddy Grahams of my childhood — covered with the same milk chocolate coating mentioned above. 

But wait, there's more ... this "seriously chocolatey" flavor is bolstered by the addition of dark chocolate chips. Supposedly. According to McVitie's marketing materials, this cookie is "packed" with the chips, but I had trouble finding and identifying them while eating. After breaking out a magnifying glass (really), I did discover a few and enjoyed them, but in the end still found myself questioning McVitie's "packed" claim.

Regardless, these still come across as quite chocolate-forward, yet in a mellow way, so I'd recommend lovers of milk chocolate look for these above the aforementioned milk chocolate digestives for a more satisfactory experience. Dark chocolate fans, on the other hand, should keep reading.

Though not particularly well-known in the U.S., Jaffa Cakes are absolutely iconic in the U.K. Survey research by originator McVitie's (which weren't available at my store, though Jacob's is owned by the same parent company) showed that more than 90% of the nation sees themselves as fans of the cookie-sized treat, which includes a base of golden sponge cake topped with orange jelly (jaffa is an orange variety) and coated in dark chocolate. The BBC even called them "arguably Britain's greatest invention after the steam engine and the light bulb." 

In addition, endless debates about Jaffa Cakes rage on, a sure sign of passion if there ever was one. Is it a biscuit or a cake? Should it be eaten chocolate side up or down? Is it better to nibble around the outside, to save the jelly for last, or just dive in? Is it dunkable? These are just a few of the divisive topics of the Jaffa Cake discourse.

But how does it taste? To the uninitiated palate, to be honest, it's a bit strange at first. Though citrus and chocolate is not exactly an uncommon pairing, it's not necessarily expected in a cookie like this. At the same time, however, it quickly grew on me. There's something about the punchy acidic flavor of the orange that complements everything around it and makes me want to take another bite, even when I'm unsure how I feel about the overall combination of flavors here. It's no wonder Brits can't stop talking about these biscuits. Er, cakes.

I tasted these without any backstory, so I was somewhat confused what bourbon had to do with anything. Would the cream be bourbon whiskey flavored? If so, what would that even taste like? I wasn't sure, but kept an open mind. It turns out, however, that these are actually chocolate biscuits with a chocolate cream filling, with no whiskey to be found. 

So what's with the name? As it turns out, these biscuits were originally created by manufacturer Peek Freans around 1910 as "Creola" biscuits, but the name was changed in the 1930s to Bourbon, inspired by but not connected in any meaningful way to the House of Bourbon. As such, while it can be said that both Bourbon biscuits and Bourbon whiskey take their name from the same source, neither has a strong connection to either the royal dynasty or the other foodstuff.

Flavor-wise, these are particularly interesting, in that tasted alone they seem bland and unimpressive. Chocolate on chocolate should be bold, but this isn't. However — and this is an important however — once dipped in tea, these become something else entirely. Though unclear why this happens, that effortless dip seems to awaken the slumbering chocolate notes, and this biscuit suddenly becomes an explosion of chocolatey flavor. Though many of the biscuits on this list also enjoy a dip, this one transforms the most after such an excursion, thus should be eaten in this manner whenever feasible.

Though also a plain digestive biscuit (see others above), originator McVitie's version offers the best balance of sweetness and wheat flavor, alongside the perfect texture for this type of snack. Is it exciting? No, of course not. It's a basic wheat biscuit. But sometimes simple is best, and the ability to craft something that's uncomplicated but excellent is the sign of quality. It is perhaps similar to vanilla ice cream — which will never be the most intriguing flavor — but if a brand can make a good vanilla, odds are that their more interesting flavors will also be good.

These biscuits are a perfect match for tea. The slight sweetness pairs wonderfully with the tannins of the beverage, and the texture holds up well after a dunk, providing an excellent experience for those who regularly take their biscuits for a swim. Though these will never be the most complex option available, it's hard to go wrong with them.

Despite my aforementioned comments about regressing to the mean with regard to milk chocolate, after tasting these dark chocolate digestives, I am still struggling to wrap my head around the fact that the milk chocolate ones are the top-selling biscuit in the U.K., while these delectable wonders barely make the top 20. They are so much better! The dark chocolate is lovely and pairs ever-so-perfectly with the semi-sweet biscuit underneath. There's enough sweetness to cut through tea's tannin, yet the cocoa flavor remains rich and satisfying.

These are also simple, yes, but that can be a great quality when done well. And these are done well. They're a little harder to find — blame that top-selling list — but if you come across them, I highly recommend giving them a try. As for me, if Elevenses were to become a staple in my house — and who knows, after working on this list, it just might — these digestives would without a doubt be the house chocolate biscuit.

The main thing about Walker's Shortbread is that it is, well, perfect. With just four ingredients! But this divine combination of flour, butter, sugar, and salt is arguably the poster child for the idea that the sum can be greater than the parts. This simplicity is not only refreshing in a world of illegible additives and preservatives, but it lets the butter in particular shine through, creating a rich, decadent, and timeless treat from almost nothing. What else could one want at tea time?

The other interesting thing about Walker's is that it is a big brand, yet even artisanal competitors struggle to find the same consistency. In a way it's like Heinz Ketchup — maybe it is familiarity, nostalgia, or perhaps it really is quality — but, in this category, even the supposedly gourmet brands can't hold a candle to the original. In the end, Walker's has been doing something right since 1898, when Joseph Walker first started selling the biscuits in Aberlour, Scotland, and that success continues to this day. Someone put the kettle on!

To find as many different types of British biscuits as I could, I raided both the United Kingdom aisle at my local Wegmans and headed over to a nearby World Market, a home decor and furniture store also known for selling international food items. It is certainly clear that this selection is limited compared to what one might find in the U.K. proper, but it seems like a reasonable snapshot of what the average American might have access to (without shopping online, which offers more selection but can get expensive quickly, and often requires bulk purchases). I was disappointed, for example, to not be able to find any Hobnobs or Ginger Nuts, if only to be able to write about eating them. Alas, I could only review what I could find.

Once the biscuits were in hand, I tasted them each plain, as well as alongside a nice cup of black tea. I also tried dipping them in the tea, of course. I then rated them on flavor, texture, and how they paired with the tea.