Review: Heinz Debuts Two Great Mayo Dips And A Dud

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Heinz is best known as the king of ketchup, but the brand is hardly a one-trick pony. With a product line ranging from mustards and relishes to gravies and vinegars, Heinz seemingly has a sauce for every occasion, and if there was a hole in that lineup, it's likely been filled, as Heinz just announced the release of three new mayonnaise-based sauces.

Lemon Pepper Parm, Buttermilk Ranch, and Steakhouse Garlic are the latest dipping options to hit shelves just in time for summer cookouts. The Lemon Pepper Parm promises a creamy blend of mayonnaise with a zip of citrus flavor, followed by a punch of cracked black pepper and grated Parmesan cheese for a complex mouthfeel. I'm not sure a complex mouthfeel is quite what I'm looking for in a dipping sauce, but it definitely sounds intriguing. The Buttermilk Ranch is set to offer tangy buttermilk, balanced by a blend of garlic, onion, and herbs for a rich finish, while the Steakhouse Garlic aims for an elevated twist on classic garlic aioli, featuring onion and roasted garlic for an umami flavor, a hint of zesty black pepper, and balanced by brown sugar for a slightly sweet finish.

The promotional descriptions sound good, but do the sauces actually deliver? Heinz sent me all three a day before they launched, and I'm glad they did. The sauces are all good, but one lags behind the others. Read on to find out which sauces deserve a spot in your fridge.

Heinz reached out to The Takeout prior to the release of the new sauces and offered to send samples to test. Once I received the three bottles, I snapped photos of each and then dug in for tasting. I first sampled each on its own — what I like to call "toddler style" — and then dipped breaded chicken bites in each for a more authentic sauce experience. My evaluation was based on flavor and texture, with bottle design also taken into consideration.

Recommendations are based on firsthand impressions of promotional materials and products provided by the manufacturer.

Generally, I write reviews featuring multiple products in ascending order (worst to best), but for this one, I'm flipping the script. The Steakhouse Garlic sauce is wonderfully complex, but not overpowering. It's a good sauce for a number of reasons, so good, in fact, that another one on the list feels like a copycat.

The top four ingredients in this sauce tell the story: soybean oil, vinegar, roasted garlic puree, and garlic puree. If this sauce were a party, soybean oil and vinegar would be the responsible hosts while the garlic puree couple is almost certainly the ones who take over the music and get the games going the second they walk in. Not only is the roasted garlic flavor prominent, but so is the texture of real garlic in every bite. A touch of brown sugar is present less for flavor than to help cut off that potentially overpowering garlic punch before it becomes too much. The result is a well-balanced sauce that dives headfirst into its roasted garlic notes without getting lost in them.

A roasted garlic sauce is close to as versatile as you're going to get. Lemon Pepper Parm? You might think it would be a little more specific, but one taste had me imagining all of the potential uses for a citrusy, creamy sauce filled with real cheese.

The texture of this sauce is the first thing that stood out. Not unlike the Steakhouse Garlic, where the double garlic puree combination results in a ton of garlic chunks, the Lemon Pepper Parm is teeming with as much shredded Parmesan cheese as you can hope to successfully squeeze through a bottle. The cheese works in concert with a lemon flavor that's undeniably present but, once again, not overpowering. The whisper of a kick from some cracked black pepper prevents the lemon from veering into sour territory, leaving you with a sauce that reminds me of a pasta dish, but with more versatility. My breaded chicken bites were excellent with this sauce, but I imagine anything from french fries to a veggie wrap would benefit from its multilayered flavor.

If it's not already clear, I really enjoyed the first two sauces. That's not to say I don't appreciate Heinz's new Buttermilk Ranch, but I wish it had more of its own personality. Instead, this is the little sibling of the three: looking up at the other two and trying to emulate them rather than chart its own course.

The issue, if we can call it one, is that the Buttermilk Ranch tastes like a mellowed-out version of the Steakhouse Garlic. When I think of ranch — and as a Midwesterner, that's almost constantly – I picture a cool, refreshing condiment that's equally suited to taming the fire of a Buffalo sauce as it is to finding a home atop a salad. This ranch, though, is garlicky, which in itself isn't bad, but also doesn't scream ranch. If I'm looking for a creamy garlic sauce, I want the one filled with rich roasted garlic notes, not a ranch that's taken on a flavor outside its comfort zone. This is by no means a bad sauce; it's just not original, which is disappointing given the quality of the other two.

Heinz nearly went three-for-three on the new sauces. I'll be spending the coming weeks putting the Lemon Pepper Parm and Steakhouse Garlic on anything I can find to see if these sauces are truly as versatile as I suspect. Meanwhile, I will definitely be enjoying the Buttermilk (Garlic) Ranch, all the while wishing it were a little more unique.

As a side note, I love the bottles Heinz is using for these sauces. The upside-down design means you never have to worry about shaking free the final bit of sauce, but it's the squeeze-hole diameter that is the real standout. Unlike some sauces that flood your plate the minute you pour them, these sauces are easy to dispense from the bottle and come out in an almost comically thin stream, making it easy to control how much sauce you get and where it goes. It might seem trivial, but no one likes ruining a dish with a flood of sauce, so a properly executed bottle is crucial.

All three of Heinz's new sauces are currently available exclusively at Walmart for $2.99 per 8-ounce bottle. Since they're all mayo-based, all three contain eggs, and the Buttermilk Ranch and Lemon Pepper Parm also contain milk. Each lists a serving size of 1 tablespoon, with the Lemon Pepper Parm and Buttermilk Ranch clocking in at 90 calories per serving, while the Steakhouse Garlic is 80 calories per serving.