Don't Assume Fine Dining Restaurants Will Accommodate These Requests

There are plenty of annoying requests restaurant chefs never want to hear, but it's still fairly common to ask for the occasional substitution on an order. In fact, those requests can be crucial if you're dining out with a severe food allergy. If you're eating someplace fancy, is the restaurant obligated to work with your request? We spoke to Izzy Kharasch, hospitality expert and president of Hospitality Works restaurant consulting, about how realistic your expectations should be.

When we asked about what to expect when ordering off-menu, whether it's because of dietary restrictions or personal preference, Kharasch answered, "I would never assume that any restaurant, fine dining or other, will be able to handle any special requests." If you have food allergies that you're concerned about, Kharasch stressed that you should call the restaurant ahead of time. "However, don't talk with just anyone who answers the phone," he explained. "Talk to the general manager or owner. They are the decision makers who will either say no or listen to the need and see if they can fill it." This is universal advice when fine dining. From adding birthday candles to a dessert to receiving detailed ingredient breakdowns, a restaurant is more accommodating with requests if you call first instead of asking at the table. 

Aside from being considerate, there are plenty of reasons why calling ahead is better than asking questions after you arrive at the restaurant. A 2017 study on food allergy knowledge among restauranteurs found that only about half the surveyed restaurants had a dedicated person on staff who could answer questions about food allergies. However, nearly all managers surveyed agreed that it was important for servers and kitchen staff to be "knowledgeable about food allergies," and more than 91% agreed that "restaurants should try to meet food-allergic customers' special requests."

Calling ahead gives the staff time to be certain about ingredients, limitations, and potential cross-contamination. At some higher-end restaurants that require reservations, the staff prefers you to call a few days in advance to notify them about the allergy so they can be ready when your party arrives — even better, mention it when you place your reservation. 

As for requests involving your preferences rather than allergies, keep your expectations simple. "A fine dining restaurant that specializes in fish will probably not make you a burger," Izzy Kharasch said. Many servers will try to work with reasonable requests made in good faith, but insisting on that custom burger after the server says no will accomplish nothing except putting everyone in a bad mood. In any case, if you haven't called beforehand, then stay polite with your server if they tell you a request simply isn't doable. You're not actually the bad guy for ordering off-menu, but how you ask and respond can leave an impression.