The Unique Shopping Experience You'll Have At The World's Smallest Trader Joe's

Until last May, if you lived in Boston and wanted to go to Trader Joe's, you had one option: the smallest Trader Joe's in the world. Sounds cool, right? Wrong. It is hell.

You enter through narrow sliding doors at the street level and are immediately forced onto an equally narrow downward escalator (or into a tiny elevator). Your descent into the labyrinth is surrounded by colorful murals depicting Boston's charm. Oh, and you might already be in the checkout line. Because at the world's smallest Trader Joe's, you shop for your groceries while in line to pay for them.

The 5,200-square-foot store is so cramped that the single checkout line wraps around every aisle. It can take 15 minutes to get from the cereal to the milk (or 25 if you're getting non-dairy) because of the people in front of you. Not only is this Trader Joe's crawling with college students from the dozen schools that surround it, it's in the middle of offices, hotels, apartments, and shops, and directly across the street from a convention center. You will bump into your fellow shoppers. Carts will block shelves. Backpacks will hit you in the face.

I lived in Boston for more than 15 years and this was my Trader Joe's for half of that. I've been trapped in that line, starving, cranky, and exhausted, more times than I care to admit. If you go, you will be too. The best time to avoid large crowds there is when it opens at 9 a.m. on weekdays. For everything that is holy, do not go after 3 p.m., unless it's an hour before closing, but then you run the risk of not getting everything you need. Don't even think about going on the weekends.

Look, I love Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's is the best. Its snack selection is always on point, its prices are excellent (not just for budget shoppers), and its frozen lava cakes are my favorite grocery store item of all time. I stan TJ's, forever and always. But that particular store? I'm stress-eating their dark-chocolate-covered almonds to get through writing about it.

If you choose to shop at the grocery store that is a line, you need a plan. You must know where everything is. Make a literal shopping list. For this store in particular, your list needs to be ordered by location (that's the smartest way to order your grocery list, anyway).

Don't let the crowds prevent you from grabbing what you want. Knocking into someone while reaching for that jar of Dijon is guaranteed. Say your "excuse me's" and move on. Alternatively, you can shun convention to weave in and out of the crowd with a basket that gets progressively heavier, only to end up at the back of the line. If you'd prefer that method, take someone who can dutifully stand in line for you. The employees, bless them, are fast as lightning.

Thankfully, in May 2024, a new Trader Joe's location opened up several blocks down at 500 Boylston Street, which is more than three times the size of the 899 Boylston storefront. It sells alcohol and is closer to the Copley T stop, which makes it even more convenient for everyone. Shopping at the smallest Trader Joe's in the world might give you a quirky anecdote, but why even would you? I didn't have a choice. You do.