The Old-School Hangover Cure Myth That's Only Making You Feel Worse

As long as alcohol has existed, hangovers have followed, so it's no wonder that the lore behind so many supposedly magical hangover cures is rich and varied. One of our favorite imbibers, Anthony Bourdain, had his own hangover routine, which included "spicy Szechuan food" and a cold Coca-Cola. For decades, the go-to hangover advice has been to eat something greasy in the morning. Bacon, cheeseburgers, giant burritos, hash browns — you name it. Any heavy, oil-soaked breakfast would supposedly "soak up" the alcohol and bring you back to life. It's comforting, delicious, and deeply ingrained in the culture. Unfortunately, it's also largely a myth, and in many cases, eating greasy food when you're hungover can make you feel significantly worse.

If you're still not convinced fast food burgers for breakfast won't cure you, consider this: Alcohol dehydrates you, sandpapers your stomach lining, shoots blood sugar levels all over the place, and triggers inflammation. And by the time you wake up with a raging headache and nausea, the alcohol has already metabolized. The damage is done. There's nothing left to "absorb," no matter how much grease you stuff down your gullet. What's more, fast foods can be especially rough on a tummy that's already inflamed, thanks to all the alcohol now increasing your stomach acid. It would indeed be a more beautiful, more just world if fatty food could somehow neutralize alcohol after the fact, but tragically, it's false.

If we're not supposed to eat greasy food after a night of drinking, then why do some people feel like it helps? Part of it is psychological. Salty, savory foods are comforting when you're suffering on the couch, and all that salt may temporarily help with fluid retention, especially if you're dehydrated. Greasy meals are also loaded with calories and fat, which can provide a short-lived energy boost. Sadly, that relief is often followed by increased nausea, heartburn, or fatigue once digestion kicks in. 

Greasy food is a temporary, albeit delicious, relief that will make recovery even harder. Because alcohol reaches your stomach first, it's a good idea to eat something at least 10 minutes before you toss back that tequila, and keep eating between drinks. Having food in your system slows how quickly alcohol reaches your bloodstream — but once it's there, the only hangover cure is time.

For the morning after, we asked a dietitian to help us tackle the booze flu, and she warned against falling prey to the "I already blew it last night; let's keep the bad behavior going" mentality. Nutritious foods, particularly those high in protein and fiber with healthy fats, are a much better option than greasy foods to eat while hungover. If you're up for it, salmon, watermelon, ginger, and coconut water are all safe bets. This isn't the news many drinkers want to hear, so as we're waiting for another remedy to save us, the search for a hangover cure continues.