Why The Trump Brand Vodka Marketed As 'Success Distilled' Was Anything But Successful

Much to the chagrin of people who don't care for Donald Trump, his vodka line, Trump Vodka, was neither lethal nor particularly bad. It was just a middle-of-the-road brand of vodka. The kind that, with enough lime and tonic, won't taste like much, but will get you drunk. 

But with bottles that looked like gold bars, high-profile release parties that included Kardashian family members (and, somewhat hilariously, Stormy Daniels), Trump Vodka seemed like a surefire win. In the mid-2000s, Donald Trump had a brand, clout, and notoriety, all thanks to his hit reality series "The Apprentice," and his vodka line, which launched in 2006, was an extension of that brand. Despite all of those factors, Trump Vodka ceased production in 2011. It seemed that the strategy of slapping your name on something and then calling it "success distilled" didn't actually generate a success. 

In truth, Trump Vodka always seemed like an odd choice, given his long-standing abstinence from alcohol (motivated in part by his brother Fred's struggles and eventual death due to alcoholism). But Trump's vodka line failed in part because its taste left consumers wanting. Reviewers used words like "bizarre" to describe the flavor, and compared it to both paint and rubbing alcohol. Another issue was financial: After only a few years into production, Trump Vodka was in such dire economic straits that the company couldn't even afford to buy the glass to bottle its beverage. It goes without saying that one can't just sell loose gallons of vodka. 

The third possible cause of Trump Vodka's demise was, most likely, competition. Premium vodka is already a crowded market, with Grey Goose, Absolut, and Belvedere leading the charge. A famous name and reputation doesn't always translate into sales. And Trump Vodka was faring so poorly in its final days that it was only selling about two cases of vodka a day.

Trump is no stranger to lending his name to a product, many of which have folded after short periods on the market. We've covered before why Trump Steaks failed after just two months (and based on the reviews, Trump Vodka appears to have been received better than Trump Steaks). But the list of short-lived, Trump-branded consumer goods is much longer.

In 2010, Trump and the Chicago-based Talbott Teas released Trump Tea, a line of four different whole tea beverages, including Park Avenue Blend,Union Square, Mar-A-Lago, and Westchester blends. Though it appears that these teas were actually quite serviceable, the line only lasted about three years, when Talbott was acquired by Jamba Juice and discontinued Trump Tea in 2013. 

But the list of now-shuttered Trump branded consumer goods doesn't end there. Did you forget about Trump's bottled water company, Trump Ice? Yep, that unfortunately named brand (also known as Trump Natural Spring Water) was around from 1995 to 2010. Arguably, its moment in the sun came in 2007, when Sylvester Stallone — who at the time had launched his own brand of bottled water — said he wouldn't even wash his socks with Trump Ice. He later apologized. 

Trump Vodka, like the majority of consumer goods that bear the president's name, didn't seem to be particularly bad (depending on who you asked), but also didn't sell well. Who knows what will be cooked up next? At least we (may) have one thing good from him: Coca-Cola is using real cane sugar again.