Vodka Ice Pops Marry Icy Treats And Possible Public Intoxication

Ah, summer. The time when you can chuck that red wine and dark beer in favor of fizzy drinks and cocktails crying out for an umbrella. But in the dog days of July and August, when the thermometer goes north of 90, we are going to have to check out this summery item at Costco.

Slim Chillers Vodka Martini Skinny Freezers (there are about three names in that title) are available at Costco, BevMo, some liquor stores, or online. They're really more like a plastic-encased Flavor Ice, in which you suck on a slushy treat that tastes like a Cosmopolitan, Appletini, Watermelon Lemonade, or a Lemon Drop. They're made with "premium 8-times distilled, charcoal filtered vodka," as well as a splash of vermouth. The website boasts that they're also only 100 calories, but really, what are the odds that someone's only going to have just one of them?

The Skinny Freezers are already being billed as the new "mom's best friend" this summer. We get that, but moms, for the love of god: please stash these in the very back of the freezer. Maybe behind the frozen peas, the kids will never find them there.