The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile Wants To Give Astronauts A Ride To The Spaceship

Imagine astronauts dramatically walking out of the Weinermobile before they hitch a ride to space.

Jason Kempin/FilmMagic/Getty Images
By  Dennis Lee

NASA's been looking for a sick new ride to replace their old Astrovan (if that's a wordplay joke on NASA's part, it's next level). Their former vehicle was from 1984, and frankly, it was awesome. But all good things eventually come to an end, and the big guns over at NASA have retired the ol' whip. Today's NASA is in search of something fresher and newer.

Enter Oscar Mayer. The processed meat company, famous for their tube steaks (hot dogs), responding with a tweet saying, "Hey, @NASA we got you," accompanied with a photo of the Weinermobile.

CNET did some fantasizing on what it'd be like if this actually came to fruition. Can you imagine this? Decked out astronauts emerging triumphantly from the Weinermobile? This is the pinnacle of glory.

That being said, I'm sure opening NASA up to random corporate sponsorship would open up a whole can of shameless promotional worms that would eventually go to the highest bidder. I have zero interest in watching a spaceship emblazoned with the name "Herbalife" blast off into orbit, though I'm sure Pfizer would be pretty interested in some opportunities.

I would definitely make an exception for the Weinermobile. I would also happily sacrifice my 2009 Toyota Camry that has currently has power steering issues, but unfortunately, the new-and-improved Astrovan needs to seat at least eight passengers. My Camry only seats five, snugly, but if you treat it like a clown car, the sky's the limit. Hey, it's got under 80,000 miles on it, so I'm sure with a slight tune-up, she'll be as reliable as ever. I do, in fact, drive like a grandma.

Where was I? Oh, right, the Weinermobile. Speaking of weiners, Oscar Mayer also hopped in on the meme game when billionaire Jeff Bezos took off on his Blue Origin space wang, and tweeted this glorious 'shopped masterpiece:

If you didn't already know, we love the Weinermobile. We talked to some drivers, which was a delight, we pursued it in a medium-speed chase down I-97, and breathlessly covered the story of the Weinermobile getting pulled over by the cops. Adding an "astronaut chauffeur" line just seems like a natural addition to its storied resume.

Recommended