M&M's Was Trolling Us All

You all knew M&M's wasn't actuallyretiring the spokescandies, right?

Earlier this week, M&M's announced that it would be placing all of its classic spokescandies on an "indefinite pause" because they were considered by some to be "polarizing." (Yes, spokescandies. You know, the anthropomorphic M&M crew.) The brand went on to unveil comedian Maya Rudolph as the candies' replacement, since she is "a spokesperson America can agree on."

This whole hullaballoo is a reference to the fact that whenever M&M's makes changes to these candy-shelled mascots—altering their footwear, adding a new character—certain people, aka conservative commentators, tend to lose their shit and loudly start complaining about wokeness. Still, the announcement sent people online into a tailspin: Some were confused by the decision to retire the beloved mascots, while others were lamenting that the last vestiges of their childhood were being stolen away from them.

However, The New York Times has confirmed what The Takeout surmised from the moment the M&M's announcement went viral: This is all just a publicity stunt. The spokescandies aren't actually on "an indefinite pause" as M&M's claimed, but are instead ramping up for their return during a Super Bowl commercial spot.

"Rest assured, the characters are our official long-term spokescandies," a brand representative told the NYT via email. "The iconic M&M's characters are in fact spending some time pursuing their other passions."

But a commercial airing during the Super Bowl featuring Maya Rudolph will bring back all the erstwhile mascots, even though we've barely had time to miss them. The M&M's rep assured the NYT that the spokescandies will be returned "right where they belong at the heart of the brand."

I'm assuming none of you were too worried. We've seen this song and dance before. The retirement of the M&M's is about as real as Mr. Peanut's tragic death or the McRib's "farewell tour." They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but as a marketing tactic, nothing's ever gone for all that long.

Besides, the M&M's probably needed their refresh, to be honest. There's only so long that you could keep up the weird horny green M&M thing without it getting a little stale. (After all, where do you go from here?)