What The Frick Would You Do If You Found Bears Eating KFC In Your House?

A California man found multiple bears in his kitchen, chowing down on his hard-earned chicken.

You know, I don't work on the "animals-stealing-people-food-beat" very often, so I consider writing about the following to be quite an honor. WTVM reports that California resident John Holden arrived at his home to find a very curious surprise waiting for him outside his front door: a mama bear. What happened next is nothing short of a fried chicken tragedy.

WTVM reports that, upon encountering the bear, Holden did something braver than I would ever consider doing: he sprinted right past her to get into his house. Holden was concerned for his pets, but even he admitted that the move wasn't exactly the smartest option. "I was very concerned about my pets at the time, so I guess I wasn't thinking clearly," Holden said. "I just wanted to get in here and make sure they were OK."

When Holden made it into the kitchen, he discovered a bear cub plowing through a bucket of KFC on the kitchen counter, while another cub was tearing through the rest of the house. He then realized that both his dog Woody, and a pet parakeet had gone missing. Uh-oh.

First, Holden focused on getting the bears to leave the house. "I did everything I could do to make noise to try to get them to leave," Holden told WTVM. "They were very stubborn." But after a few minutes, the cubs went outside to reunite with their mother. (They were probably happy that they'd discovered the joys of the Colonel's fried chicken.)

Holden did reunite with his dog, Woody, who'd managed to flee the house but was returned by Holden's neighbor was able to grab the wayward pup and get him home. The parakeet, however, was nowhere to be found. I'm hoping it flew into the trees and not into a baby bear's stomach.

In the end, Holden learned his lesson. "Definitely make sure all your doors and windows are securely fastened when you have fresh food in the house that a bear can smell, especially KFC," Holden told WTVM.

Let this be a lesson to all of us.