When It's Okay To Ask For Ingredient Adjustments At A Steakhouse (And How To Do It)

The etiquette around asking for an ingredient adjustment while dining out is often debated. Is it rude? Do chefs and line cooks hate it? We wanted to put the whispers in our minds to rest, so we spoke to executive chef Sam Hazen, who runs the kitchen at Palladino's Steak & Seafood in New York City, about when it's appropriate (or even possible) to ask for a tweak to the food you've ordered, especially at a high-end steakhouse. 

Hazen said it's not a faux pas to do so, especially in one specific case. "It's acceptable to ask politely for a simple modification, especially if you have an allergy," he advised. But if you're trying something more drastic than a food allergy accommodation, Hazen suggested potentially dialing back on the requests. He said, "In my opinion, I also feel it's rude to expect the kitchen to completely remake a dish or create something that is not on the menu." He also mentioned that if the request is minor, and doesn't "impact the integrity of the dish or its presentation" much, the request could be taken into consideration as well — but allergy requests are always taken seriously.

When it comes to dish modifications, asking the restaurant chef for a few things like easy on the salt or extra dressing on the side usually isn't an issue. But kitchen lines often have a workflow to them, one that can be thrown out of whack fairly quickly. The restaurant I used to work for didn't allow for any special menu requests for just that reason. So as long as you're mindful of that, you should probably have a basic understanding of what's potentially achievable. If you start describing a new steakhouse dish that simply doesn't exist on the menu based on your preferences, it's better off just picking something different altogether; otherwise, you'll likely get denied.

And it's not that a restaurant doesn't want to make you happy, it's just that menus are designed with certain flavors and ideas in mind. Unless you've got an allergy that needs to be addressed, asking for a lot of changes to your food also might mean you picked the wrong place to eat. So yes — you can certainly ask for a modification if you've got an allergy, as those are taken very seriously, along with some minor tweaks. But aside from that, as Sam Hazen noted, it's generally best to let the steakhouse kitchen do its thing.