How To Signal To Your Server Without Coming Off Like A Jerk

As a patron, signaling to your server can feel like a minefield of unspoken, mysterious rules. You might wonder things like, "How do I even call my server over?" or "Should I stack my plates after I'm done?" We're here to help. There are actually a few small things you can do to result in a seamless and efficient experience, especially when trying to signal to your server. Just one note, though: Never, under any circumstances, snap your fingers at your server or the staff in general.

When you're ready to order, the simplest thing you and your party can do is set your menus face down on the table. This is a very good clue to your server that your entire party is ready to order. When you're finished eating your meal, simply rest your utensils on your plate or bowl. Don't stack your dishes — this can actually be more cumbersome for the staff. If you're at a restaurant with cloth napkins, setting the napkin on top is the polite thing to do. As your plates are cleared, you'll probably be asked if you're ready for dessert, but if you're all finished, that's the perfect time for you to say, "No, thank you, but we are ready for the check." If you need to grab your server's attention, simply raise your hand at elbow level.

Other than being polite, there's no need to follow old school rules, or even the rules you think you've learned from movies (except maybe how to spit out steak gristle). You don't need to know how to position your utensils on your plate or eat with poise because there really is no need for that. However, being well-mannered (and not a jerk) isn't incredibly difficult, so it's one thing you should practice wherever you go, even if it's not a fine dining establishment. 

Although most advice on common dining etiquette is aimed at fine dining, it's not the only time that rules apply. You should probably treat everyone with dignity and respect, from the server at TGI Fridays to your local upscale farm-to-table and fine dining establishments. The simple gestures outlined above apply to any restaurant you decide to visit. Hopefully, wherever you dine, you calmly signal the staff and treat your server as you would like to be treated.