To Clean Or Not To Clean, That Is The Question (For Parents When Kids Make A Mess At Restaurants)

Some people may prefer that dining — apart from fast food and so-called "family" restaurants — be an adults-only affair, but you know what? Having a kid doesn't mean that you're content with eating nothing but chicken nuggets. If you're thinking, "Isn't that what babysitters and date nights are for?" I'd like to point out that this isn't an option for everyone. 

I raised my kid as a single parent, and since I've always enjoyed his company, I started taking him to a wide variety of restaurants before his first birthday. He developed a fairly sophisticated palate by the time he was a toddler, meaning he never would order off the children's menu. He was always pretty well-behaved, too, but he could be messy. I usually tried to "help" the servers by cleaning up as best I could, but it turns out this might have been the wrong call. Kate Ferrin, former general manager of the restaurant Brooklyn Roots Italian, explains why.

According to Ferrin, "I like when a parent offers to help and apologizes for the mess, but I'll never let them clean up the mess — that's our job!" She did relieve my mind to some extent, however, by revealing that restaurant staff typically don't mind when little ones spill stuff (as they inevitably do). As she told The Takeout, "Kids are kids. If it doesn't impact the other diners, enjoy yourself, and we'll clean it up!" Sure, if your kid seems intent on emptying a salt shaker on the ground, you can move it out of their reach. But if they accidentally spill some water on the table, just politely flag down your server, and they'll be happy to wipe up the spill.

Kate Ferrin did say, though, that there are a few things parents can do to mitigate any child-related damage and make dining out with kids less of a hassle for all concerned. One is to do your best to try to prevent your child from wreaking major havoc or otherwise doing anything that might upset the other diners. (Besides merely existing, that is.) As Ferrin put it, "If your child is screaming in the restaurant, don't ignore it — it impacts everyone. Try to distract them, and we'll do the same." If you manage to rein your child in to any extent, the servers will be grateful. "We're accommodating and appreciate when we see parents actively doing what they can," Ferrin assured us, adding, "but kids are kids, and we understand that." 

Another thing you can do is to compensate the server for any hassle. "Tips should reflect the extra impact on the staff and the rest of the diners in the restaurant," said Ferrin. If automatic gratuities (unpopular though they may be) are up to 18% in some cases and 20% is the new normal, you might want to think about tipping at least 25% if your server has to clean up a child-related mess. As per Ferrin, "Just being aware and tipping my wait staff more for this inconvenience goes a long way and shows you care."