Wine Water, Sadly, Will Not Get You Drunk

Pretend you're a Takeout staffer, and you stumble onto a press release. Could you ignore a headline like this one? Because we, we've found, could not:

What draws you in? Is it the "wine water," a term that seems equal parts ludicrous, intriguing, and vaguely sacrilegious? Is it the mention of the "near water category," a term we just learned and pretty much hate already? Or are you content to scroll on by, perhaps confident that you'll find out what Wine Water is once it starts showing up in sponsored Instagram posts?

For us, the teeth-grinding "near water" situation is just a bonus, if you can call it that. We're here for the Wine Water, which, as it happens, is actually called O.Vine, and won't be here for us until at least next month. The press release crossed our paths thanks to this writeup in Bustle, which describes the drink as "a light and refreshing, non-alcoholic alternative to the real thing, arriving just in time for the season."

Created by a startup called, yes, Wine Water, O.Vine infuses pure spring water with extracts from "wine grape skins and seeds," byproducts of wine-making that might otherwise go to waste. The result, says CEO Anat Levi, is a (near water) beverage that "imparts the wine sensation and awakens the memory of drinking wine," while also allegedly delivering the "health benefits of antioxidants—without the alcohol."

We at The Takeout must admit that to us, this sounds like grape-infused water, but we'll (mostly) withhold judgment until we can try the stuff. When O.Vine becomes available, near water aficionados will be able to purchase it in either red (made from cabernet, merlot, syrah, and petit verdot) or white (riesling and gewürztraminer), with and without carbonation.