Wendy's Wants To Feed You If You Fall Into A Gaming Vortex So You Don't Die

Do I understand Twitch? Not at all. It's something my tweenage sons are very much into, though, so my plan is to let them have enough time with the video game streaming site that they fall madly in love with it, then join myself and ruin it for them forever. When they were babies I swore that I'd have my revenge for all the nights they robbed me of sleep, and at last that time has come! Enjoy your comeuppance, you filthy animals.

Know who understands Twitch, though? Multimillion dollar corporations like Wendy's that know that when you're gaming you don't have time for things like cooking or leaving the house. That's why starting today, Wendy's is launching a five-day virtual cavalcade featuring some of Twitch's most popular streamers, and a limited edition "Never Stop Gaming" menu that's exclusively available through Uber Eats. Now through Saturday, you can feast on one of five special meals designed by the gamers themselves:

  • TFUE Meal: 10-pc. nuggs, small fries, and Minute Maid Light Lemonade
  • FLIGHT Meal: 10 pc. spicy nuggs, small fries, and Hi-C Fruit Punch
  • itsHafu Meal – Baconator, small fries, and Sprite
  • xChocoBars Meal – Big Bacon Classic, small fries, and Diet Coke
  • Myth Meal – Classic Chicken Sandwich, small fries, and Coke
  • Every Never Stop Gaming meal comes with an Uber Eats Prize Pass tucked inside the bag, which could net you all sorts of fantastic prizes like gaming apparel, slide sandals, and gift cards. There's also a chance of winning an elusive PS5, but the odds are pretty lousy so you probably let those dreams die before they start. Wendy's graciously sent me a pair of the aforementioned slides, and they're pretty damn comfy, so if I were you, I'd throw my hopes and dreams behind winning those. A PS5 will eventually become obsolete, but a pair of sturdy, practical shoes can last you for years to come.

    Over the next five days, TFUE, FLIGHT, itsHafu, xChocoBars, and Myth Meal will be streaming the games of their choice on Twitch, and randomly handing out prizes to fans that tune in. The official press release states that at some point they'll all be joined by "the ultimate gamer, Wendy, who will also get in on the Twitch action." I'd been under the impression that Colonel Sanders held the title of "ultimate gamer, " so I hope he doesn't hear about this promotion or he's going to be pissed.