We Can Stop Eating Bullshit Boneless Wings Because The Real Wing Shortage Is Over

By  Kevin Pang

When last we brought you chicken-wing news, reports were dire: Our nation's unabashed love for 'dem wangs was so great, supplies were depleting during summer 2017 and prices were driven to record highs. Chains like Buffalo Wild Wings saw profits plummet, and their popular Tuesday half-priced wing specials changed to a boneless wing promotion.

But less than a year later, chicken-wing supplies are robust again, enough that prices have dropped 25 percent from last summer, according to Bloomberg. Part of the reason could be attributed to the heightened promotion, by the likes of Wingstop and Buffalo Wild Wings, of boneless wings. We need not remind you that boneless wings are total bullshit—they contain no chicken skin, constructed from reconstituted white meat, and lacking the tactile pleasures of bone-slurping-meat-extraction. Legally, boneless wings should not even be allowed to be marketed as wings. Take note from Tyson, who understands that if your wings aren't actually wings, you should just rebrand then as wyngz.

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