There's A Matchmaking App For Cows Called Tudder

I'm reading a book to my toddler where there's a baby cow named Daisy (naturally), and it's a gentle reminder that Daisy wouldn't face a certain future of pulverization into pink slime if not for a mommy and daddy cow.

Indeed, cows need love too, or at least other cows for hooking up. An eBay-like site in the U.K. called Sell My Livestock, which boasts 43,000-plus farmers among its users, has launched an app that sounds both tongue-in-cheek and legitimate: It's called Tudder, and the BBC describes it as a matchmaking app "to help farmers find the perfect breeding partner for their cattle."

Naturally, I downloaded the app from the Apple App store, and within seconds I was swiping through pics of some hot, savory singles.

The first profile I encountered: British Friesians! But whoa, 9-10 months, I ain't going near that.

Next: 50 Pedigree Flekvieh In-Calf Breeding Dairy Females! But 50? I'm looking for love, not a bovine remake of Caligula (which should be called Cowligula).

Bottom line: It's a slick-looking app, one that I've already deleted, but sounds useful for its intended audience and that counts tennis superstar Andy Murray as a backer.