The Government: Stop Drinking Raw Milk, Hippies

Raw milk truthers in four states—New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, and Rhode Island—are being warned by the Centers for Disease Control to lay off the dangerous dairy. The CDC warns ("for the second time in three months," ahem) that consuming raw milk can be harmful to one's health. This latest chiding comes after a New Jersey woman became ill due to a germ called Brucella abortus RB51 present in the raw milk she drank. Call us old-fashioned but we don't want to drink anything with the word abortus in its name.

The lactic time bomb came from a company called Udder Milk, a stealthy raw-milk distribution ring whose website is only accessible by "members," and whose delivery locations shift to avoid detection by authorities. The company also has not named the farms it sources its milk from, making further CDC investigation impossible.

Here's the deal, tri-state area raw milk enthusiasts: The Takeout is not here to shame you for consuming something you consider healthy. We're just suggesting a little common sense is in order. As a former New Jersey resident myself, I'm confident there are approximately five Whole Foods within a 10-mile radius of most residents of these states. Such stores are happy to supply you all the non-GMO, hormone-free, bilingual-proficient, FDA-inspected sheep, goat and probably yak milk you could possibly afford. And if that's still too Big Dairy for you, why not go full commune and start your own farm?