Texas Man With Nothing To Lose Steals Ambulance To Grab Smokes, KFC

Sometimes you have places to be, and no time to wait around for a cab. In those instances, you can either stand around waiting for the situation to rectify itself, or you can take control of your own destiny. In the case of a recently arrested Texas man, a late-night shopping run was not a time for waiting idly by. It was a time for action.

KPRC reports of a 60-year-old Houston man who was apprehended without incident by local authorities, after stealing an ambulance from a nearby hospital in order to complete his nightly rounds. (He had previously been admitted into that same hospital.) The man was arrested at a gas station after he "... took the ambulance and went to KFC to get something to eat before stopping at several other places to get something to drink and smoke," and was later charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. (The lesson to hospitals: Don't leave your keys in the ambulance.)

While there's no way of confirming that he was overwhelmed by a craving for KFC's Cheetos sandwich, we're going to make the wildly unfounded assumption that no lesser a force could compel a man into stealing an ambulance from a hospital. And in defiance of the law and our rigid social structures alike, when asked why he'd stolen the emergency vehicle, he reportedly replied that "he needed a ride."