Teens May Have Brought Cookies Baked With Human Ashes To Share At School

When you hear a story about a pair of teens who baked something nefarious into some cookies and brought them into their school, you think weed, right? But a pair of kids in Davis, California, possibly raised things up a twisted notch by baking a grandparent's ashes into cookies and taking them in to share with the class.

So far, this story is based on pretty much hearsay: CBS Sacramento reports that "the evidence comes from student testimony" and the cookies have yet to be (DNA?) tested. The story goes that two students at DaVinci Charter Academy handed out the allegedly remains-filled cookies to several of their classmates. Fortunately, Davis Police Lt. Paul Doroshov says that "I have not heard of anyone getting sick or anybody being harmed as far as physically, physiologically by this." He's also never come across a case like this before: "This is a weird one."

Of course, the immediate question we have is: "Why?" Halloween prank? Weird cultlike religious practice? Also, how dumb do you have to be to hand out crime-filled snacks that could so easily be traced back to the people who handed them out? Y'know, the more we think about this alleged crime, we realize there are no possible acceptable answers to the "why" question.