Taco Bell Optimistically Suggests Turning Taco Bell Food Into Complex Bisque

Every brand must decide how to market itself around major holidays, and Taco Bell has tapped into a powerful internet tactic for getting people's attention: the horror-click. For its annual celebration of "Friendsgiving," the fast food chain is selling a Rolled Chicken Tacos Party Pack—inoffensive enough, depending on your feelings about Taco Bell—and has provided a complementary recipe for Rolled Chicken Tacos Bisque. As in, a smooth, thick, creamy soup that involves pureeing whole chicken tacos after they simmer in a pot for a while with a rather intimidating number of extra ingredients.

Cooking is exactly what people (presumably) order Taco Bell to avoid doing, but okay, we'll bite. After all, fast-food-centric holiday recipes have been known to surprise and delight us. But unlike, say, the White Castle Turkey Stuffing, which pretty much only requires mixing torn-up sliders with chicken broth and baking, this Chicken Tacos Bisque recipe is, for the novice cook, so vexingly complex that those looking to make it at home for the novelty factor might wonder halfway through if immersion-blending saturated taco shells as an elaborate bit is even worth it.

According to Taco Bell, the recipe was developed by Taco Bell Executive Chef Rene Pisciotti, who also designed the menu for the famed Taco Bell hotel. This is a man who clearly understands what the people want to eat—but maybe he's overestimating us when it comes to what we want to cook for ourselves.