Subway's Top Sandwich Artists Engage In Fevered Hand-To-Bread Combat

While Subway is still working to account for the great cultural affront of taking $5 footlongs away from the masses, and trying to get people excited about their sandwiches once again, business must continue as usual. As evidenced by a press release, "business" apparently includes a clandestine head-to-head food-prep competition between its fastest sandwich artists.

The chain's annual Global Sub Jammers event brings the world's fastest Subway employees together to rapidly assemble turkey breast sandwiches before a roaring crowd, all for the sake of earning the Global Sub Jammers Champion. This year, "Sandwich Artists" from the U.S., Canada, France, Germany, Singapore, South Korea, and the U.K. met in Toronto, Ontario to ply their craft, take home a cash prize, and declare themselves the world's foremost Sub Jammer. It takes places in what appears to be the Thunderdome.

This year's winner, by the way, was Sara Tiegs from Pullman, Washington, who also claimed the title in 2017 and finished second last year.

For everything they have to put up with over the course of an average day, sandwich makers (and really anyone working in fast food) should be able to do what they do in front of raucous crowds a lot more often. Imagine it: packed arenas full of painted bodies, yelling themselves hoarse as the cream of the crop slam together delicatessen meats, cheeses, and vegetables. Fireworks every time a sandwich is finished. Fighter jets soaring overhead to set the mood. All the fun of arena sports, with way fewer concussions and way more mayonnaise.