The Steak-Umm Twitter Account Is At It Again

The frozen beef brand is serving up its signature prophetic lectures once more

Steak-umm's Twitter account has become a cultural phenomenon in recent years thanks to its thoughtful, introspective, surprisingly intelligent tweets on subjects that most frozen beef brands tend not to wade into. It's also been an unlikely source of comfort to many of us in these wild, confusing times. This corporate Twitter feed has gotten me through the day before with its tweets on ennui, Neutral Milk Hotel, and whatever the hell this was. It tried to unite our country in the early days of the pandemic, and was brave enough to subtweet Donald Trump during one of his many disinformation campaigns. How often do you see that sort of intellectual moxie coming out of the frozen food section?

Yesterday, following a month that once again saw Americans at each others' throats as the Delta variant runs rampant through our divided country, Steak-umm jumped into the Twitter fray with this:

An oh, what a beefy thread it was! There has not been such a biting critique of the failed institutions we are beholden to since The Wire, a show that tried to warn us that all of this would happen nearly 20 years ago. We need to confront some seriously hard truths, and if those lessons are going to stick, we need to hear them from melt-in-your-mouth-tender meat products, because that's the sort of authority figure we respect.

After fully processing the tweets of this modern-day freezer-aisle prophet, you might be wondering about who's behind the Steak-umm Twitter account. Is it a philosophy professor, or perhaps a shadowy figure of the deep state? I did a little bit of digging on the subject and found the answer, which shouldn't have surprised me one bit:

While I refuse to waver from my position that A.I. and robots will one day destroy us all, I suppose that if the Steak-umm Twitter account really is powered by a Beef Bot, that's one robot I am not nearly as threatened by.