The Ice At Sonic Is A Whole Damn Thing, Apparently

Fast food chains are a funny thing. They each represent a unique subculture, a local language, for those who frequent them. But if you don't have a particular chain where you live, then the wealth of vernacular and secret menu knowledge shared among its millions of customers is all but hidden from you. (The truism that "McDonald's has the best Coke" and the universally understood modifier "double-double" come to mind as examples of this.) Sonic, a chain that didn't plant its flag in Chicagoland until relatively recently, is one such place for me. I had no idea that of all its many delicious-sounding offerings, one of its biggest contributions to the fast food landscape is... its ice. Crunchy, porous pebbles of ice that you can purchase by the bag.

Sonic, for its part, is well aware of the public's (and Matthew McConaughey's) love of its ice, and a new promotion seeks to capitalize on it—for a good cause. According to a press release, Sonic has set up an online auction for a single 44-ounce cup of ice, with 100% of the proceeds going to DonorsChoose, a nonprofit that raises money for teachers seeking additional resources for their classrooms. The winner will be presented the cup of ice by a Sonic carhop who skates right up to your front door, a fact that naturally makes me wonder what happens if the winner lives in a fifth-floor walkup.

"The crunch and texture in every bite of SONIC's Ice is one reason guests love it so much," said VP of product innovation and development Scott Uehlein in the company's press release. "Our ice melts more slowly, keeping the refreshing flavor of our drinks longer, but we also know some of our guests enjoy the cold ice just as much by itself. This is for them." By itself? Is this true? The heretofore unknown world of Sonic ice continues to amaze.

If you're so inclined, you can place a bid here from now until September 20. There are 30 bidders already, and the cup of ice is currently sitting at $103.50. C'mon, do it for the schoolchildren!