Cow On The Lam In Rhode Island

An APB has been issued for Rhode Island for fugitive cow that escaped from a slaughterhouse last Thursday and remains at large. As per video footage captured by a doorbell camera in Johnston, the 1,600-pound steer can best be described as large, in charge, and palpably suspicious. Now, I'm no cow psychologist, but if the things I've read on the internet are correct, it's possible that this steer is on a mission to destabilize suburbia via a campaign of fear, intimidation, and pooping on lawns.

Video footage submitted by local NBC affiliate WJAR shows the steer milling about a private driveway with a devious look in his eyes. Eyewitness accounts place the cow at several different locations in the Johnston and Providence neighborhoods, including the Woonasquatucket Greenway bike and pedestrian path. Local man Domingo Abreu told WJAR 10 News that during while walking the path, "an old man asked me if I had seen a cow." When the WJAR reporter asked Abreu if he was out looking for the cow, Abreu responded, "Yup."

The WJAR team was not able to find any cow tracks on the Woonasquatucket path, but they were able to contact a local slaughterhouse called Rhode Island Beef & Veal just a few short blocks away whose motto is "We Meat Your Needs." None of the workers could be convinced to be interviewed on camera, but one, speaking on a condition of anonymity, said a wholesale client had lost control of the 1,600-pound cow as it was being unloaded for slaughter.

Failing to apprehend the steer before it crossed the town line into Providence, local police contacted the Department of Environmental Management and animal control, but both organizations informed police they had neither the equipment nor capability to wrangle the runaway. Police then began pursuing the steer in a low-speed chase toward the Route 6 on-ramp, but lost it when it took a sharp turn into the woods near Buttonhole Drive. Rhode Islanders should remain on alert, and report any cow sightings to local authorities.