California Restaurant Bans Rowdy, No-Good Teens

Offenses include smoking dope in the bathroom and throwing fries at employees.

As a teenager, I was too scared of God's wrath to step a toe out of line. It's a shame, because your teenage years are supposed to be a time of crazed banshee-like behavior. Committing minor acts of vandalism! Smoking that sweet, sweet dope! Wearing fingerless gloves! Unfortunately, one California burger joint has fallen prey to a string of ill-advised teenage acts, leading the restaurant to ban customers under 18 unless they're accompanied by a parent or guardian.

Business Insider reports that the owners of Red Rooster Burgers & Brew, located in Garden Valley, California, claim they've tolerated wild teenage misadventures for two years. The owners announced the decision to ban unsupervised teens in a Facebook post on Friday, describing the young customers as "kiddos" and stating that "it's very clear to us that the bad behavior is not going to end."

In the post, Red Rooster Burgers & Brew outlined the sorts of teenage incidents that have occurred at the restaurant in recent years. The list includes:

  • Teenagers throwing fries at employees
  • A stray (presumably used) condom left in a bathroom
  • Teenagers sticking candy to the ceilings
  • Condiments being squirted into the wrong bottles
  • "Multiple kiddos in the bathroom at one time with the door locked"
  • The list also mentioned "kiddos sitting on the baby changing table in the bathroom making out" and "marijuana being smoked in the bathroom." (Cool!!!!!) Finally, Red Rooster claims that the same teens have defaced residential Halloween displays on surrounding neighborhood streets.

    Ah, teens. I'd like to think that this string of mayhem was the result of one wild Kenickie type. Just a solitary, leather-jacket-clad adolescent bent on mass destruction. Either way, the offending punks are way braver than I was at that age, although I do feel for the poor restaurant staff. Patience, Red Rooster—give these kids 10 years and their idea of a wild Friday night will come to involve pickling homegrown Serrano peppers and browsing high thread count sheets.