Your Most Pressing Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Questions, Answered

Q: What the hell is the Popeyes Chicken Sandwich?

A: It is the greatest chicken sandwich of all time. This was determined last summer in an epic social media battle. Critics liked it too. And then there's this guy, who has been moved to song:

Q: Why can't I find one?

A: In a tragic development, Popeyes ran through a three-month supply of chicken in two weeks. Neither lawsuits nor threats with a deadly weapon could bring the sandwich back.

Q: Is it ever coming back?

A: Next month, according to a loose-lipped franchise owner. Popeyes' parent company will only confirm that it's hiring 400 more workers to satisfy demand.

Q: But wait, how could they run out of chicken?

A: Excellent question. According to sources quoted by the Wall Street Journal, Popeyes gets its fillets from small-breasted chickens. However, demand for small-breasted chickens is fierce; competitors such as Chick-fil-A, KFC, and Wendy's are also after them and already have contracts with suppliers. (Between 5 and 10% of larger-breasted chickens grown for meat instead of laying have a condition called woody breast, hard fibers that make the meat tougher and more gummy.) The WSJ's sources said that Popeyes has been "hyperfocused on costs" in its negotiations with suppliers. As anyone who has studied basic economics could tell you, if demand exceeds supply, costs are bound to go up, so Popeyes had a bit of a problem here.

Q: Why should I bother caring about this if the sandwich is just going to disappear again?

A: A Popeyes spokeswoman assured Forbes back in August, just after it announced that supplies were about to run out, that the chicken sandwich will be a permanent menu item.

Q: Of course they'd say that.

A: Just trust them, okay? Next year at this time, we will have all forgotten we were so obsessed with this damned sandwich and you'll be able to stroll into any Popeyes and get one right away.