Pizza Cook Arrested For Putting Rat Poison In The Cheese, Because Nothing Is Sacred

Let's try to put a positive spin on this: a manager at Primo Pizza in Fayetteville, North Carolina successfully avoided sending a bunch of rat poison-laced pizzas to local slice aficionados. There. This is now a story about how a bunch of people didn't have to eat poison pizza. No nightmare fuel here! Just a happy tale of not being poisoned by pizza.

CBS News reports that Gurol Bicer was fluffing up a bucket of recently shredded cheese when he noticed small brown pellets in the mix. Rightly noting that the presence of small brown pellets in a bucket of cheese was probably bad, Bicer "checked online and found the pellets were either poison or supplements, then reviewed surveillance footage to determine who made the shredded cheese." He also found pellets in three other buckets of cheese. So he called the cops.

Ricky Adami, 59, allegedly put the poison pellets in with the mix as he was using the shredding machine. CBS notes that Adami "got into trouble" with the managers hours before the incident, though why he chose to take it out on poor, unsuspecting pizza lovers, we may never know.

Bicer threw out all the shredded cheese mix, making this both dangerous for consumers and a crime against cheese. "Everything he touched, I threw away. All the containers, the parts of the machine, the cheese, of course," Bicer said. The health department has given Primo Pizza permission to carry on, Adami has been "arrested and charged with distributing food containing noxious/deleterious material," and I am left alone with my nightmares.