Oreo Has Figured Out Everyone's Holiday Gifts, One Less Thing To Worry About

Truly 2020 has been a year of wonders, though not always in the most positive of ways. Today, however, one of the most wondrous things of all showed up in my inbox: a press release announcing the existence of OREOiD, a service that allows you to create your own custom Oreos: creme, sprinkles, images, packaging, the whole shebang (except for flavors, but I suppose the logistics for that would be very complicated).


Naturally, I logged in right away and created this:

That is my dog, Joe, surrounded by his signature color, purple (because it looks so good with his fur and because he is a prince). Let's call it a Joreo. And now I know what my family will be getting for their holiday gifts.

(But wait. Is it some sort of taboo for them to be eating a representation of my beloved dog? Or will they be taking his spirit inside of them so that they will develop passions for sniffing, cuddling, wrestling, sniffing other people's butts, and carrying giant sticks in their mouths?)

Of course there is a price: a box of a dozen Joreos will cost me $29.95, which is approximately ten times the price of a package of regular Oreos. But regular Oreos don't have Joe's face on them! So the extra cost is completely worth it.