Nicolas Cage To Star In Truffle-Hunter Movie And We're Already Camped Outside The Theater

I don't know what sort of amazing shit I did in a past life to deserve this, but within my first month at The Takeout, this happens:


I never dreamed those words could even be arranged into a sentence together, just as I never dreamed my world would ever intersect with Nicolas Cage's. But they did, and it has.

According to Variety, Cage will be playing "a truffle hunter who wants his pig back." Production began yesterday on this film—and I seriously believe that it is a gift that I get to type this—which is about:

[A] truffle hunter living alone in the wilderness in Oregon. When his beloved foraging pig is kidnapped, he must journey into Portland–and his long-abandoned past–to recover her.

And then this happens (probably):

I am in the midst of contacting everyone that is even remotely involved in this nascent masterpiece of American cinema, so expect regular updates about Pig as it makes its way to screens. I don't care if the only person I get to talk to me is the caterer, I will be covering this movie, and I will be going to the red carpet premiere as a "distinguished member of the press." I was born ready.