New McDonald's Online Store Might Just Placate Those Burned By Bungled UberEats Promotion [Updated]

Update, December 6, 2019: If you were among the thousands of disappointed UberEats customers who ordered McDonald's back in September only to be denied your free branded McSwag, there's a 50% chance you'll be interested in these latest developments: McDonald's has announced this week the launch of Golden Arches Unlimited, an online store featuring McDonald's apparel, holiday gifts, and accessories, from Pop Sockets to enamel pins.

The bad news for those denied McSwag is that these aren't the same products that were offered through September's UberEats promotion. They feature different designs and 100% less sleep sack. The new merch also don't come free with your delivery order this time; the Golden Arches Unlimited holiday sweater, for example, is $65 before tax and shipping. But maybe for that special someone who's still seething about their lost opportunity to nab a pair of McD's socks, this would be the perfect gift to quell their rage this season. That, or you could knock them out entirely by getting them a Bacon BBQ Burger.

Original post, Setptember 23, 2019: Last Thursday, Uber Eats and McDonald's promised America some McSwag. It was 100% the reason why I had 60 McNuggets, two Big Macs, and four pumpkin pies delivered to my house, instead of making my family a dinner that would have contained at least one vegetable. I have no problem shaving years off my life if it means getting a free T-shirt that I'll never wear.

According to Twitter, I was one of the lucky ones. Many excited customers tore into their deliveries, hoping they had received one of the more premium McSwag items—like the sesame seed hooded blanket or the Big Mac fleece pants—instead of something lame, like the crap-ass T-shirt I got. Sadly for them, what they had received was McNothing, and they are pissed.

According to trade publication Nation's Restaurant News, a customer said that the Twitter account @Uber_Support responded to their complaint with an email denying their request for a refund, saying "This promo is valid only while supplies last. For the inconvenience, I am adding $5 that you may use for your future orders." There is no way that this will be seen as an acceptable consolation, especially for customers only placed orders specifically to receive McSwag. These items are now being sold on the secondary market for considerably more than $5, which isn't even enough to buy Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal. This is McInsult to McInjury.

P.S.: If anyone wants a T-shirt with a French fry icon over the left nipple, make me an offer. These kids' college funds aren't going to grow themselves.