Some Deranged Person Keeps Throwing Molotov Cocktails At Montreal Pizza Joints

In the last two weeks, three pizza places in Montreal have had Molotov cocktails hurled through their windows, an act of serial arson that targets one of the purest things we have left on this godforsaken earth. It's important to note that in all cases, no one was hurt, and the restaurants sustained little damage thanks to the restaurant's sprinkler systems. As such, we have no problem asking this question of Montreal's pizza arsonist: Who hurt you, and why for the love of all that is good are you taking it out on pizza?

The first attack took place on November 22, when a person threw a Molotov cocktail through a window of the California Pizza restaurant (not a California Pizza Kitchen) at around 1:45 a.m.

On December 1, the nearby Pita Pizza was targeted. A call came in at 6:20 a.m., and the police found a broken window, a fire burning, and the sprinklers doing their sprinkling work.

And yesterday, December 3, California Pizza was once again targeted. Same M.O.: smashed window, Molotov cocktail, sprinklers put out the flames.

If you, dear reader, are a Montreal resident, and you think you know someone who loves throwing bottles that are on fire but hates pizza, please ask them to stop. The holidays are hard enough. Everyone should be allowed to eat pizza in peace.